Happiful – September 2019

After years of misery and loneliness, Brian finally

acknowledged that drink was slowly killing him. Now –

after rehab, and with a renewed passion for friends, dance,

and art – life has never been better

N

o one sets

out to be an

alcoholic. It

creeps up on

you until you reach the

point where you cross the

line, and you are hooked.

Then it destroys your

life – physically, mentally,

and spiritually. But you

can recover.

For me it was a very

slow process. I drank

every day for 25 years,

and was probably hooked

after about eight. But

it was only in the three

years before I stopped

that it started to take over

my life.

Alcoholism is a

progressive illness, and

as long as I continued

to drink my situation

only got worse. As it

progressed, it became

more and more of an

obsession. All I did was

go to work (to pay for the

booze), come home and

drink until I went to bed,

pass out, then get up and

do it all again.

Writing | Brian Parker

I beat alcoholism and

made a new me

It was slowly leeching

my life away. By the end,

I had no social life and

I stopped doing all the

things that make life

worthwhile, like dancing,

making art, and being

with people. It was a sad

and miserable existence.

Then one Friday I came

home from work, and had

a nervous breakdown.

This was partly because

of the drink, and partly

because I was over-

worked at my job. I was

stressed and getting to my

wits end. But this turned

out to be my moment of

clarity, and it made me

seek professional help for

the first time in my life.

My doctor sent me to

rehab at the Priory. They

convinced me that I was

an alcoholic, and that the

solution was complete

abstinence. They also

explained that if I

wanted to stop drinking,

I couldn’t remain the

person I was; that person

drank. I had to change

into someone who didn’t

drink, and who was

happy about that.

For me it looked like a

way to get my life back. I

remember thinking: “If

I could only get back to

feeling like how I felt in

my 20s.”

Well, I can tell you, it’s

turned out much more

than that. In my 20s I

never realised my full

potential, or made proper

use of my talents.

For the first four years

of my life without drink,

I concentrated solely

on recovery and getting

better. At the start it felt

like I’d had the stuffing

kicked out of me. I had

almost no spirit left, and

I seemed to be living in a

befuddled fog.

So I set about changing,

although it wasn’t easy.

To get anywhere, I had to

make a continuous effort

every day. But slowly it

worked. My joie de vivre

began to return, and I

started to become the

person that perhaps I was

always meant to be.

After the first four years,

I started to look outward

and began engaging with

the rest of the world. I’d

always been a dancer –

not someone who just

gets up and dances now

and then, but someone

who is defined by the

word ‘dancer’.

So I started dancing

again, in performing

arts festivals and clubs.

I made friends. Through

them, I discovered

All I did was go

to work (to pay

for the booze),

come home and

drink until I went

to bed, pass out,

then get up and

do it all again

>>>

Photography | Svetlana Pochatun

• BARBARA JANUSZKIEWICZ

“

Photography | Tyler Nix

Creative thinking inspires

ideas. Ideas inspire change