(themonastery.org) or the American Marriage Ministries
(theamm.org). And double-check your state’s rules: Some
require her to do it at least one month before the big day.
FEE Ordination is free, but you can offer to pay for a printed
certificate to commemorate her contribution—from $8 to $260.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN You can tailor this ceremony however
you want, but grab a good guidebook to create a framework.
(We like The Wedding Ceremony Planner: The Essential Guide
to the Most Important Part of Your Wedding Day, by Judith
Johnson.) Want to take the sweetness up a notch? “On your
programs, print the ‘asking of intention’ and ‘pronouncement’
portions of the ceremony, and have your guests join in,”
says planner Hallie Slade, of L.A.’s La Bohéme events. “The
sound of hundreds of people pronouncing you husband
and wife is so moving.” —Courtney BalestierWill You
Marr y Us?
The officiant is your master of ceremony—
literally. Consider your options before deciding
who should do your I do’s.
JUSTICE OF THE PEACE
HOW IT WORKS A JP is simply a layperson licensed to perform
marriage ceremonies—a good option for the nonreligious
and your only option at city hall. To find one, visit a site like
findajp.com. (Getting married abroad? Do the JP thing
stateside first so you don’t have to deal with foreign red tape.)
FEE It varies, but $75 to $150 is typical.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN A good JP will want to meet in advance
and personalize the ceremony. “You and your groom should
tell her your favorite story about the other privately,” says
Utah-based planner Michelle Leo. “Then have her tell both
stories from the podium.” At city hall, the ceremony can be
tailored with self-written vows and other personal touches,
depending on local rules and how busy the office is that day.CLERGY MEMBER
HOW IT WORKS Reverend or rabbi, priest or pandit, when
you choose a religious official to perform your ceremony,
there’s a good chance she’s done this a few times and can run
the show (and calm your wedding-day nerves). She’s also
recognized by the state, so there’s little danger of a paperwork
mishap. Most religions allow clergy to marry nonmembers, but
some require premarital counseling or holding the ceremony
in a house of worship (instead of in your nana’s backyard).
FEE The donation range is $200 to $1,500.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN Religious rituals tend to go by the book,
but you can usually tweak some parts (to remove hints of
sexism, for example) and choose your own music. Try bringing
in a children’s choir or a friend with great pipes, says Calder
Clark, a South Carolina planner. “We once had a gorgeous
male guest stand up from the crowd and sing ‘Amazing Grace,’
and everyone lost their minds!” she says.FRIEND OR RELATIVE
HOW IT WORKS Someone you know and love gets ordained
as a minister and performs your ceremony, guaranteeing it will
feel personal. But whether you ask your cousin, camp friend,
or SoulCycle instructor, she should be at least 18, be comfort-
able with public speaking, and “have her shit together,” says
San Francisco planner Amy Nichols. “Attorneys are great; they
don’t crack under pressure.” Make sure your pal gets certified
by a reputable organization, like the Universal Life ChurchTIP Throwing an interfaith affair? When hiring two officiants, designate
one to be the lead, and be sure she signs the marriage license. Not all houses
of worship are cool with a tag-team ceremony, so ask early.
Actress Amy
Smart, her
groom, Carter
Oosterhouse,
and their
yogi officiant326 FEBRUARY/MARCH 2015 BRIDES.COMDETAILS
HARRISON STUDIO