G10 The Boston Globe FRIDAY, AUGUST 30, 2019
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FridayAugust 30, 2019 Movies Sports News Specials Powered by
The meta six-part “Beverly
Hills 90210” reboot, called
“BH90210,” has been dropping
in the ratings each week, start-
ing with 4 million total viewers
and falling to just under 2 mil-
lion for the fourth episode.
I can’t say I’m surprised. For
one thing, each episode is too
long at an hour’s length. I un-
derstand that the original
“90210” was an hour long, but
this is a different beast — a light
comedy with in-jokes — that
fares better in a more sitcom-
like space.
And then, despite the clever-
ness of being a show about a
show that was a show a long
time ago, the story lines are fair-
ly dumb. Basically, the gang re-
unites, all kinds of old interper-
sonal chemistry gets kicked up,
as each one deals with personal
issues. It’s pretty obvious where
each story line is heading. Therewas little to entice those who
tuned in for the premiere, to get
a glimpse at everyone, to return
for more.
I do like the idea of coming at
the revival trend with a different
kind of format. I respect
“BH90210” and all the actors for
going in that direction. But a
few writers less dazzled by the
cast — and more focused on
some good material — might
have helped an awful lot.Q.I am a 25-year-old single male and I
have been reading your column and listen-
ing to the podcast for about a year now.
Season 2 and the discussions around dat-
ing (and how hard it can be!) have been
very relevant and helpful for me.
I was wondering how you think people
should approach prioritizing their career
andpersonalgoalsversusdating.Iama
graduate student getting my master’s in so-
cial work and I work full time, as well. To
put it simply, my schedule is a mess. Dur-
ing the semester I work about 35 hours a
week, have an unpaid internship for 15
hours, and take classes. Free time can be
tough to find. Plus, working in the mental
health field can be draining, so I am often
exhausted by the end of the week.
I have dated here and there over the last
two years, but usually find I don’t have the
mental and emotional energy to seriously
invest in other people. I have one more
year of grad school, so I will by quite busy
until next June.
However, I really do want to find a part-
ner and would like to date around. But I
can’t seem to get the timing right. I keep
going back forth between dating a bunch
and not wanting to date at all.
Do you think “being too busy” is a fair
reason not to date, or is it cop out? Am I
saving myself (and the women I might
date) the difficulty of a crazy schedule, or
am I selling myself short?
BUSYA.If you’re overwhelmed by your hectic
schedule and would rather use your free
time to sleep than date, that’s OK. People
take breaks. Sometimes people take very
long breaks (stares in mirror).
But you should be taking time off for
yourself, not for others. You don’t have to
spare hypothetical women the pain of deal-
ing with your schedule. There might be
some excellent potential partners out there
who are just as busy or like to do their own
thing. People with packed sched-
ules can make excellent significant others.
Thanks to apps, which are available 24
hours a day, dating can feel like something
you have to be doing all the time — that if
you’re not swiping and messaging like it’s a
full-time job, you’re not doing it right. But
that’s not true. If you have time to read the
column and listen to the podcast (those ep-
isodes are 22 minutes, right?), you havetime to swipe on a few faces and send some
messages. You can set small goals and tell
friends you want help with the search.
Really, your experience sounds pretty
typical (in a good way). Many of our letter
writers date a lot and then take time off.
They feel like they’re not making any prog-
ress with their love lives, and then, all of a
sudden, they do.
As you continue the process, think
about whether you might benefit from
choosing an app that only gives you a few
options a day. I’m not endorsing any specif-
ic platforms here, but I do know that some
dating apps limit your choices. That might
be better for the man on the go.
MEREDITHREADERSRESPOND:I think if you found the right person,
you’d suddenly be able to find lots of room
in your schedule for dating.
SURFERROSAFor the next year, you really DO NOT
have available time to invest in and devel-
op a relationship. At least you are aware.
I’ve had dates with divorcees with three
children who for some reason think they
do have time to date, and in reality, they
don’t. That just leads to a handful of dates
where the other parties want more and ar-
en’t satisfied.
GDCATCH^Agree with GD. I’ve been super busy
like this before. Sounds like this guy is
working 50 hoursperweekandgoingto
college. That is a lot.
GOODNIGHT-MOONThe telling thing is your emotional ex-
haustion, not so much your schedule. De-
veloping a relationship takes time and ef-
fort and you seem to be running low on
both.
MCDIMMERSON^A good relationship can help with
emotional exhaustion. ;)
WIZENColumn and comments are edited and
reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.
Send letters to meredith.goldstein@
globe.com.LOVE LETTERS
BY MEREDITH GOLDSTEINIs he too busy to date?
AMY SUSSMAN/GETTY IMAGESFrom left: “BH90210” stars Gabrielle Carteris, Brian Austin Green, Shannen Doherty, and
Ian Ziering in Beverly Hills, Calif., earlier in August.
TV CRITIC’S CORNER
BY MATTHEW GILBERT‘90210’ reboot could benefit from another reboot