Her World Singapore – September 2019

HW ASK JAY

Breakingupishardtodo.

Breakingupamicably?That’s

eventougher.Howdoyou

breakupwithsomebodyand

makepeace?

Hereareafewtips.

First,trynottobreak

upoversomethingterrible.

Thismeansdon’tcheat,steal

moneyfromthemorotherwise

beaterribleperson.This

probablydoesn’tapplytomany

peopleoutthere,butthisisthe

firstruleofabreak-up:Don’t

doanythingsobadthatthe

break-upcan’tbeamicable.

Second,ifyouwantthings

tobefriendlyafterthat,be

matureduringthebreak-up.

Thatmeansnoname-calling,

noblaming,andnothrowing

vasesacrosstheroom(even

ifyou’renotaimingatyour

ex-to-be).

Honestly,ifit’stimeto

breakup,it’stimetobreakup.

Nofinger-pointingormaking

thingsworse.Don’tgolow

duringthesplitandsaythings

thatyou’llregret,orhurtthe

otherperson.

Giveyourselfahigher

chanceofmaintainingacordial

relationshipafterthat.

Finally,giveittime.

Onceyouhavemadethe

bigbreak,don’tattempttobe

bestfriendswithyourexright

away.Spendtimeapartand

moveon.

Thisisveryimportantfor

makingsurethatnothingfrom

thepastisbroughtup(again)

thatmayresultinunnecessary

argumentsordiscussions

whenyouguyshavehada

clean(civilised)break-up.

Also,don’tthinkthat

givingspacetoeachotheris

weird.Sometimes,thingstake

timeandyoucanbefriends

lateron–justnotrightaway.

Nowthatyou’vegotthese

tips,getoutthereandbreak

upthebestwayyoucan.Or

evenbetter,don’t.

My boyfriend of

three months brings

up his ex-girlfriend

pretty often in our

conversations, saying

things like “She used

to do this”, “She didn’t

like my blue bedsheet”,

and so on. I feel second

best though he loves

me dearly. How do I

get him to stop talking

about her? 

An electric shock collar

should do the trick! It

sends a little tingle of

electricity that should get

your boyfriend twitching

uncomfortably. Whenever

he brings up the ex,

activate the collar, and

pretty soon, he will know

not to mention her name.

If that solution sounds

insane, that’s because it is.

Seriously, just bring

the matter up and explain

to him that it’s not nice

for you to hear about his

ex’s favourite foods and

what she thought of all his

crappy polo shirts.

He loves you, and he

just keeps using his ex as

a reference point without

thinking about how it

impacts your feelings –

so let him know your

exact thoughts.

I fell in love with

someone within months

of dating. He recently

suggested that we go

on a 12-day European

vacation, and that we

should go dutch on this

trip (meals included).

How do I tell him

that he should pay

for everything?

Going dutch? The only

way to date, as far as

I’m concerned. But then

maybe I’m not a perfect

gentleman. You’re right,

it’s not super romantic

to go dutch on stuff as

the relationship is fairly

new, and he’s not exactly

asking you to pay for a

movie ticket.

He’s asking you to

split what’s going to be

aprettypriceygetaway.

SoIunderstand–’cause

again,I’mcheaplikethat.

Areyoubeing

unreasonable?

No.Ifyouwant

someonewhowillpayfor

allthiskindofstuff,and

youfinditaturn-offtogo

dutch,maybeyoushould

findsomeonewhowants

topayforeverything.

Becauseitsoundslike

thisguyisn’tthatguy.If

payingforeverythingis

whatyouwant,thisfella

ain’tit.

PHOTOS

EVERETT COLLECTION

& 123RF

Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways?

E-mail Jason at [email protected], follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.

Got a relationship

problem? JasonGodfrey

our man about town

is here to help.

“Sorry, I’ll

not mention

her again.”

HOW TO

BREAK UP

AMICABLY?

126 HERWORLD SEPT 2019