Day by day,
the me I had
known for 25
years slipped
awaythe stress was having on
my mental health, insisted
I take a six-month break
from work to focus on my
recovery. My request for a
sabbatical was accepted,
and everyone hoped the
long rest would trigger a
recovery. It didn’t.
By November, I was no
better, but I had realised
something: my job and
the environment I was
working in was killing me.
I had heard the rumours:
I was faking the whole
thing; I was using my time
off for other activities; I
was looking for attention.
None of it was true, but
the constant judgement
stung. I handed in my
notice, left the office, and
never looked back.
Relying on our savings,
we searched for answers.
I tried supplements,Graded exercise therapy was an effective treatment for VikkiChinese medicine,
acupuncture, and
attended an ME clinic. I
spoke to fellow sufferers
online, who all agreed on
one thing: it was unlikely I
would recover.
In spring 2014, I was
introduced to ‘reverse
therapy’ – an approach
based on the idea that
illnesses like mine were
the result of ignoring your
body’s warning signals for
too long. By reconnecting
my body and mind, I
could start to heal.In time my symptoms
faded, but in January 2011
I contracted chicken pox.
The PVFS followed, but
this time, after six months,
I was diagnosed with ME
(also known as chronic
fatigue syndrome) and
was warned I might never
recover.
Every day was a fight
with my own body;
tremors, headaches,
painful muscle spasms,
memory loss, noise
sensitivity, and exhaustion
so severe I could barely
walk to and from the
bathroom unaided. Day by
day, the me I had known
for 25 years slipped away.
I spent two months
off work, while my
husband worked full-time
and cared for me, but
eventually I felt pressure
from my employer.The support from Vikki’s family helped her stay
strong through her experienceI began a phased return
to work, fighting against
my symptoms, barely
aware of anything beyond
my need to get home, cry,
and fall asleep.
When a supplier
arranged a visit, I was
asked to lead the meeting,
as I had done many times
before. I had tried in vain
to clear my foggy head,
but a misunderstanding
with my manager, made
worse by my confusion,
had led to a meeting with
none of the information
required. After 20 painful
minutes of baffled
flapping on my part, I
returned to my desk,
tearful and ashamed.
I had never felt so
incompetent.
My parents and husband,
Rich, concerned by how
ill I still was and the effect54 • happiful.com • August 2019
Hear more from Vikki on her blog,
Life’s a Beach, at bit.ly/2Ywlckr