Happiful – August 2019

72 • happiful.com • August 2019

Learning to reach out and share

your heartaches and worries

will not only help you feel more

supported, but will allow them to

feel more connected and closer to

you during this difficult time.

2 Let yourself grieve

It is normal to feel shock and

disbelief when your relationship

comes to an end. Endings can

evoke a sense of loss in the life

that we once knew, and the life

we hoped for. The process of grief

will play out differently for each

of us and is said to have several

stages. These include denial,

anger, bargaining, depression,

and finally acceptance. While you

may enter each of these stages

at any given time, it is important

to remind yourself that these

are neither neat nor linear. You

may require some help to work

through any one of these stages if

you feel you are getting stuck.

3 Dealing with anger

Anger is often the stage that many

people get stuck at. Holding on

to your anger not only slows

down your ability to move on, but

retains an emotional connection

with your ex. It may be useful

to recognise that anger is an

externalised version of sadness.

Learning to let go and making

time to de-stress will benefit not

only you, but also those around

you. Learning to relax is essential

in helping you maintain your

health and wellbeing.

4 Feeling more in control

You may feel demoralised and

start to lack confidence. Setting

yourself small, achievable goals

will not only boost your self-

esteem, but will help you feel

Lindsay George is an integrative

counsellor and trained nurse, who

works with adults, couples, families,

and young people. She specialises in

areas including depression, eating

disorders, and relationships. Visit

lindsaygeorge.co.uk

more in charge and self-reliant.

Completing even minor tasks can

feel like huge wins, which will help

you overcome self-doubt and give

you a sense of moving forward.

5 Healthy body, healthy mind

While it is tempting to reach for

high fat, high sugar, comfort

foods, unfortunately they won’t

provide you with the nourishment

that you need to manage

additional stress.

I bet you didn’t know that 50% of

dopamine and 90% of serotonin

• those neuro-transmitting feel
  good chemicals – are actually
  produced in your gut! Therefore
  eating foods that are high in
  omega 3, such as oily fish, nuts
  and seeds, adding a variety of
  fresh fruit and vegetables to
  your diet, alongside a probiotic
  drink or yogurt four to five times
  per week, will not only promote
  better gut health, but will make
  you feel better, too.

Setting yourself

small, achievable

goals will not only

boost your self-

esteem, but will

help you feel

more in charge

and self-reliant

6 Professional help

The process of divorce and

separation can often make you

feel trapped, as daily life may feel

like it’s getting harder. Talking

to a professional counsellor

will help provide you with the

necessary support to work

through and understand your

feelings, so that you will be able

to manage situations with a better

sense of self-awareness and

control.

Whether you’ve chosen, or

perhaps feel forced, to make

this huge change in your life, the

process is never easy. Looking

after yourself and getting the right

support will help you get your life

back together again so that you

can move forward with a clearer

sense of direction and a chance to

find happiness and a fresh start in

the future.

Exercise also produces

endorphins that make you feel

good about yourself and will

improve your resilience levels,

which in turn help you to manage

stress.