The language of love is never simple, but for those with long-term illnesses there
can be even more aspects to decipher. Love's labour's are not lost, though – with
these tips you'll soon be fluent, and communication can flourishWriting | Anna Gauntyour relationship
thrive through illness
6 ways to help
A
ll relationships come
with challenges, and
some we can all relate
to – the debate over
who’s cooking dinner,
taking the bins out, and who left
their towel on the bathroom floor.
But illness can bring with it a whole
host of other relationship tests.
With more than 15 million
of us living with a long-term
health condition in the UK, it
can add another element to your
relationship. From mental illnesses
such as depression and anxiety, to
physical illnesses such as arthritis,
for those who are diagnosed, it can
be scary and unsettling.
Some might be afraid of how their
partner will respond, and support
them. It can also be difficult for the
partner, who might not know how
best to help.
But while there may be tricky
things to navigate, like any
relationship, it can still thrive with
a bit of attention and care.
If you are worried about how your
long-term health condition might
affect your relationship, here are
some ideas to help it thrive.
1 COMMUNICATE WITH
EACH OTHER
It might sound obvious and key
to all relationships, but honest
communication is vital when you
or your partner are struggling
with an illness. Both physical
and mental illnesses can be
complex for somebody who isn’t
experiencing them to understand.
It can also be easy to make
assumptions about how the other
person is feeling. For instance, if
you’re unable to do your share of
the housework due to illness, you
may assume that your partner is
annoyed about it. If your partner
is not talking to you because they
are busy with the housework,
they may accidentally portray
that they are annoyed. Make time
to honestly communicate how
you are both feeling to help avoid
misunderstandings.2 EMPATHISE WITH EACH OTHER
Receiving a diagnosis of a long-
term health condition can be really
hard. From feeling ill and being
in pain, to feeling overwhelmed
by appointments and treatments,3 ALLOW YOURSELF TO
RECEIVE SUPPORT
As somebody with a long-term
health condition, it can be difficult
to accept support. You don’t want
to lose your independence or be
seen as weak. You don’t want to
admit defeat. But pushing yourself
beyond your limits, because you’re
too proud to accept help, can be
damaging to your health. Refusing
your partner’s care and support
can also make them feel helpless.
They may not be able to cure you,
but they can cook your dinner!and guilty for being unable to
do the things that you used to.
It is important that a partner
recognises how difficult it can be
to have an illness. However, it is
also important to acknowledge
how difficult it can be for a partner.
Seeing their loved one suffering
and being unable to help, while
taking on the mammoth load of life
errands for the both of you, can be
hard, too. Trying to see things from
one another’s perspective can help
you to understand and support
each other.