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56 maskmatters.org FALL - V9
O
ver the years, emotional intelligence (EQ) has
increasingly become a prominent subject of
studies focusing on relational skills. In fact,
many leaders of companies around the world
now claim to value EQ as much, if not greater
than IQ.
As someone who has spent more than 30 years in the
corporate world, leading a multi-national organization over
the past 12 years, I can entirely appreciate the increased
attention being directed toward EQ. As a business
leader, my success strongly correlates with my increased
understanding of emotional intelligence. The higher my
EQ, the greater success I enjoy in the workplace.
As a father of three children (now young adults), I
can also attest to the benefits and great value associated
with modeling emotionally intelligent behavior at home.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use,
understand and manage emotions in an effective and
positive way. Both in the workplace and at home, positively
managing emotions, taking the time to understand how we
feel—as well as others with whom we are interacting—can
be challenging.
As parents, we all have hopes, desires and expectations
for our lives, our relationship with our spouse/partner, and,
of course, our children. When life tosses us and our kids
the inevitable curve balls, our collective ability to positively
deal with them largely rests on the level of emotional
intelligence present within the family unit.
Instilling emotional intelligence in our children requires
a large dose of intention and consistency. Speaking
candidly, my wife’s EQ has always been higher than
mine. In the early days of fatherhood, I struggled with
separating the person I thought I needed to be at work and
the emotionally intelligent dad my family required.
I can recall more than one occasion watching my wife
engage in “lengthy” discussions with our 5-year-old daughter,
when I would’ve preferred to have quickly gotten to the root of
the issue and instantly, problem solved! However, at work, I was
being exposed to a great deal of learning and training that was
specific to relationship-building skills, a precursor to emotional
intelligence training. I began to understand and witness the
immense power that comes from possessing high levels of EQ.
From the time our kids were toddlers, my wife and I have
been committed to eating dinner as a family. Sitting around the
table each night offered the perfect opportunity to dive into the
days’ events, the good and the not-so good. Our children learned
how to respect others who were speaking and not to talk oversomeone else. They learned how to express themselves in ways
that exposed their feelings, while allowing mom and dad (mostly
mom!) the opportunity to probe the “why” behind their feelings.
“How did that situation, or what that person said, make
you feel?”
“Why do you think you feel that way?”
“Why did you respond the way you did and how do you think
you made that person feel?”
One year, as we were preparing for a vacation in southern
California, I felt it would be the perfect setting to hold a
transparent, potentially emotional family conversation. I prepared
a series of questions and chose a night when, after dinner, we
would remain at the table and provide our responses to the
questions. Examples of the questions included: What do you
like most about your brother/sisters, mom and dad? What don’t
you like about your brother/sisters, mom, dad, and why? Needless
to say, it was quite a lively conversation! But I believe it further
demonstrated to our children how important it is to be able to
transparently and meaningfully connect with others.
Success in life is equal to our relational success. EQ is
paramount to successful relationships!PHOTOGRAPHY Courtesy of the Cardini Family
EMOTIONS: KEY
TO SUCCESS
By // Joe Cardini