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V9 - FALL maskmatters.org 61
E
motional intelligence (also
known as EQ) is a person’s
ability to label, control, express
and handle their emotions,
while recognizing and coping
with the emotions of others.
It centers around using both the rational
and emotional parts of your brain to make
logical decisions. It’s also understanding
that your emotions are valid and
rationalizing your feelings.
Studies have shown that when EQ
is taught to children at a young
age, they’re able to express their
emotions better, excel
in school, and make
healthier choices. And
unlike a person’s IQ, or intelligence
quotient, EQ is flexible and can be
improved over time.WHY EQ, WHY NOW?
Emotional intelligence is a fairly new
concept. It was brought to light in the
1990s when studies began showing people
with average IQs were outperforming
those with higher IQs. While IQ
measures someone’s ability to learn, EQ
measures someone’s ability to recognize
emotion, understand that emotion and
deal with it.
IQ and EQ aren’t related, so a person’s
intelligence does not determine their level
of emotional intelligence. When it comes
to measuring success, the Institute for
Health and Human Potential reports that
EQ counts for almost double what IQ
and technical skills are worth combined.
EQ can be useful when giving and
receiving feedback, dealing with change,
overcoming setbacks and failures, and
fostering healthy relationships.
Travis Bradberry, author of
“Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” recognizes
two categories for EQ: personal
competence and social competence.
Personal competence is made up of
self-awareness and self-management. A
person’s EQ will be higher if they’re aware
of their emotions and use that awareness
to positively direct their behavior.
Social competence is made up
of social awareness and relationshipmanagement. Successful social awareness
and relationship management occur when
you can accurately depict another person’s
emotions, empathize with them, and
use your awareness to guide a successful
interaction.
According to Daniel Goleman, author
of “Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can
Matter More Than IQ,” says if children
lack EQ, they’re more likely to have
behavioral problems such as withdrawal
from social situations, anxiety, depression,
difficulty paying attention, and destructive
or aggressive behavior. If they never learn
to address their emotions in a healthy
way, these behaviors could follow
them into adulthood.KEY CHARACTERISTICS
So how do you know when someone
has a high EQ? Goleman notes that
emotionally intelligent individuals exhibit
some common characteristics, such as
self-awareness, self-control, empathy,
the ability to listen and resolve conflicts,
and cooperation. These characteristics
enable individuals to think consciously
when making decisions, which prevents
emotional interference and subsequent
irrationality. Emotionally intelligent
individuals are aware of how their
emotions may affect their decision-making
capabilities at all times.
Justin Bariso describes some real-life
examples of how EQ can be used
effectively in everyday life in his book
“EQ Applied: The Real-
World Guide to Emotional
Intelligence.”
One such example, which Bariso
details on his blog (eqapplied.com),
describes how Amazon founder and CEO
Jeff Bezos avoids afternoon meetings when
discussing major issues.
“I like to do my high-IQ meetings
before lunch,” Bezos said. “Anything that’s
going to be really mentally challenging—
that’s a 10 o’clock meeting. Because by
5 p.m., I’m like, ‘I can’t think about that
today. Let’s try this again tomorrow at 10.’ ”
Bariso says this “before lunch”
meeting rule isn’t only brilliant, it’s also
emotionally intelligent. If you’re aware ofyour emotional triggers, you can focus
your efforts on positively transforming
your behavior to be proactive rather than
reactive.TEENS & EQ
EQ is especially important for teens
because it teaches them to recognize
their emotions and respond effectively.
It also helps them develop healthy
relationships. Dr. Morgan Francis,
a nationally-recognized clinical
psychologist in Scottsdale, Arizona, says,
“The main thing EQ helps anyone do
is have empathy, and empathy is a very
important skill in order to communicate
with others.”
According to Francis, achieving a
high EQ can help with so many things
in a teen’s life—from understanding
their identity to communicating their
wants and needs. It can also help
regulate emotions and form a deeper
connection with people in their inner
circle. Having high EQ can help people
build strong relationships, make good
choices, and handle difficult situations.
And while EQ is just as, if not
more than, important as IQ, society
often thinks otherwise because there’s
no grading or measuring system for
emotional intelligence like there is for
academic intelligence.
“Emotional intelligence is subjective,
academic intelligence is objective,”
Francis says. “We don’t get good
grades for being a good friend.
We do, however, get rewarded in
honors classes and with academic
scholarships. For parents, mentors and
teens, it’s important to understand the
impact of strengthening your character,
and social and life skills. It will have a
deep-rooted impact.”USE YOUR VOICE
There are many people who believe the
best way to deal with a situation is by
“being strong” and not showing any
emotion. While this method may exude
an air of strength and confidence, it can
actually have a negative effect.
“Keeping our emotions in can be