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ollege—or launching your career straight out of high
school—is an incredibly stressful time. Being completely
independent comes with freedom and responsibility, both
of which are hard to handle and include a lot of risks. The
suicide rate for this age range is the highest it’s ever been and
is the second leading cause of death for individuals aged 15 to 24.
The pressure to succeed can get out of control, leading to risky behaviors
such as substance abuse to cope with the emotional toll of trying to make
it. Emotional intelligence, the understanding of one’s own emotional
functioning and awareness of how to manage these emotions, can be
a significant preventative tool for our young adults. Recognizing our
emotions, understanding why these emotional reactions occur, identifying
triggers for our emotions and the resulting consequences of our actions
can make a tremendous difference for young adults who are launching into
independence.
Watch for changes in mood, a decrease in performance that is very
atypical, substance use, isolation, and a dastric change in behavior as signs
that your child may need professional help. Prevention is key, and helping
them develop emotional intelligence could be the best thing you could do
for your young adult child.Signs &
Behaviors
q Has close, healthy relationships with
peers and family
q Exhibits healthy decision-making
q Empathy
q Listens with compassion
q Increased problem-solving skills
q Healthy self-awareness and self-
esteem
q Takes responsibility for their actions
q Tolerates change
q Knows their strengths and weaknesses
q Has a robust emotional vocabulary and can identify triggering
events
q Copes with intense emotions and recovers quickly
q Reaches out for appropriate emotional support
q Good judge of character
q Good sense of humor
q Lets go of mistakes and learns from them
q Isn’t easily offended
q Makes healthy life choices regarding eating, sleeping, sex and
substance useWhat You Can Do
D Model emotional self-awareness
D Be empathic and listen to them
without judgment
D Discuss their values regarding
race, sexual orientation, religion,
money, and substance use with
them frequently; ask how they
feel about themselves in each
area
D Discuss emotional intelligence
and ask them to do a self-
evaluation
D Help them build skills in areas
they feel they need to grow
D Share statistics about risk in
young adulthood and help them
set goals to avoid risky health
choices
D Discuss the toxicity of holding
grudges and teach them to let go
D Show them how to build
resilience by teaching them
how to regulate their intense
emotional reactions
D Remind them that feelings serve a
purpose and discuss the purpose
of each emotional reaction
D Discuss their problem-solving
styles and how they make
decisions; remind them to
listen to their emotions before
impulsively making decisionsConversation
Starters“
Our feelings are guides. They
tell us when we need to take a
step back and really think about
what we are doing or what we
are about to do. How do you use
your emotions when you make
decisions?”“
Failure is a part of life. How do
you tolerate the emotional pain
of failing at something? Do you
get angry and lash out, do you
withdraw and quit, do you beat
yourself up, or do you learn from
the mistake and try again with a
different approach?”V9 - FALL maskmatters.org