IN THE BEDROOM SELF
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And what does HE get wrong?
It’s not just women who make so-called ‘mistakes’ when it comes to sex- here’s the biggest things we think men do wrong in bed...
1 Skipping on foreplay and rushing
straight into full sex
2 Having an orgasm first
3 Being clumsy
4 Talking dirty in a crude way
5 Lack of communication/intimacy
after sex
6 Falling asleep as soon as they have
finished
7 Commenting on a woman’s body
shape
8 Assuming they know what you
want
9 Rigidly sticking to their plan and
ignoring your body language
10 Keeping it completely physical
with no emotional connection
%Survey by illicitencounters.comYou wait
for him to
initiate sex
From deliveries to
queuing, no one likes to wait around.
And it’s the same when it comes to
sex. Don’t wait to be asked if you feel
in the mood. ‘It may have been true
20 years ago that women have been
taught to believe men should initiate
sex, but that’s definitely not the case
today,’ says Annabelle. In fact, a
survey by illicitencounters.com found
that not taking the initiative when
it comes to sex was the top bugbear
men had about women. ‘Take the
lead in the bedroom and your
partner will respond positively,’ says
Annabelle. ‘There’s nothing “slutty”
about wanting sex and showing your
partner that you have needs.’You’ve not
learnt about
his anatomy
It’s not particularly pretty
down there, so it’s no surprise you don’t
spend days thinking about how your
partner’s body really works, but a quick
refresher study session might just be
needed. ‘There’s a real art to giving
a man a handjob,’ says Annabelle.
‘Everyone is different and their tastes
change but, on the whole, it needs to
be done extremely sensitively with most
of the activity concentrated on the head
of the penis. Similarly, there is a real
technique to effective oral sex on men,
just as there is with women, and it’s one
you can learn easily if you listen to your
partner and respond to his wishes and
requests.’ Unsure? Just ask him – most
men love giving ‘directions’.You think toys aren’t for couples
Sex toys aren’t just for single women or to be waved
about at hen dos – they can greatly enhance sex
with a partner. ‘Many women struggle to orgasm
through intercourse alone – but that’s reduced when a
vibrator is used during foreplay,’ says Annabelle. ‘Around
80% of Lovehoney’s customers are couples.’ Not sure
where to start? ‘Magic wands have large heads used to
stimulate the clitoris and other external erogenous zones.
Many women say they give more powerful orgasms than
conventional vibrators.’ We love Deluxe Rechargeable Mini
Metallic Massage Wand Vibrator (£39.99, lovehoney.co.uk).You’re too
focused on
penetration
Just because an intimate
encounter doesn’t end in full sex, doesn’t
mean it’s been a failure. ‘We’re rather too
focused on intercourse even when, for
many women, this is not always the most
enjoyable action,’ says PLSRx’s sex
educator Alix Fox. ‘This obsession with
penetration also places an immense
burden upon men to gain and maintain
erections, because they feel as though
successful sex hinges upon them7
8
9
staying hard.’ And, with 59% of British men
having struggled to develop or maintain
an erection**, then it’s time to shift your
attention to the pleasure of being close
to your partner physically. ‘Try taking
penetration off the menu one night, and
exploring other touches and techniques
that make you both feel good,’ says Alix.10