14 INNOVATION & TECH TODAY | SUMMER 2019
Forgetting to Fly
Let us start this section out by saying birds can fly. We know all the bird skeptics
out there might hate us for saying that, but we’ve got to keep our scientific integrity
here. Now, despite the fact that many are gifted with the ability to take to the skies,
there are certain birds that are more comfortable on the ground, such as emus and
ostriches. But what if we told you that, according to new research, both of these
species were once able to spread their wings and take flight. You’d probably
become mildly curious and read the next paragraph.
As it turns out, it’s entirely possible that birds from the kiwi to
the cassowary could once traverse the sky. But why did certain
species lose this ability? Well, you see, it appears that it was
evolutionary changes to DNA that caused thesecreatures
to be stuck in the no-fly zone. We just naturallyassumed
that, like the rest of us, they just got lazy and gaineda few
pounds.
Interestingly enough, there are no known casesofspeciesre-learninghow
to fly, meaning emus and ostriches will likely begroundedforeternity.This
is definitely unprecedented news, as its equal tohearingthatdolphinsonce
walked on land, elephants used to know how toswim,orthatpineappleis
good on pizza. (It’s seriously not, you sickos.)Stranger Than Fiction
GameofThrones, theshowthatbothpeoplewhowatchandpeoplewhodon’t
refuse to shut up about, came to a thrilling conclusion this spring. And, as per
usual, the season was filled with gratuitous violence, gratuitous nudity, and
gratuitous dragons.
While watching the show, you may be likely to wonder about the real-world
possibilities of the more supernatural elements of the series, specifically
dragons. This begs the question: Are there any real-life animals that share
qualities with these fire-breathing fictional creatures? Well, not exactly, but
there are many animals that are just strange enough to fit within the world of
Game of Thrones.
According to University of Florida doctoral student Rachel Keefe, “There are
no real animals that are flame resistant or flame immune,” disappointing dragon
fans everywhere. However, there are still a handful of animals that seem
dragon-esque in their abilities, such as the blinding venom-spitting cobra, the
Strophurus gecko that can launch smelly goo from its tail, and the bombardier
beetles whose toxic farts can force a predator to literally throw up. Something
tells me that alone could have single handedly defeated the White Walkers.25 Million Minutes to Unlock
It’s happened to all of us. Some screen-hungry child wants to play Angry
Birds, grabs your phone, tries to force your passcode, and ends up locking you
out, forcing you to talk to real people. While this is undoubtedly obnoxious, it
usually only lasts about five or ten minutes and you won’t have to wait until
2067 to use your device again. Well, unless your name is Evan Osnos.
Earlier this year, New Yorker staff writer Evan Osnos made the grave mistake
of leaving his three-year-old child alone with his iPad. Of course, his child
continually attempted to input the correct password, leading to an inevitable
lockout. And how long until Osnos could access his iPad once more?
According to his Tweet, a mere 25,536,442 minutes.
Instead of being patient and waiting the 48 years for his iPad to unlock,
Osnos impatiently seeked answers, asking his social media followers for
advice on what to do. While he did end up restoring the iPad, he had to wade
through brilliant responses telling him to time travel or put the device in a bag
of rice. Hey, that’s still more helpful than Apple’s actual customer service.Photo: iStockphoto.com/pictafolioPhotos: iStockphoto.com/GlobalP | AaronAmatPhoto: HBO00100001100001000011000001100001000011 QUICK BYTES