38 S MAGAZINE ★ 4 AUGUST 2019
PHOTOGRAPH: RCD1Our agony aunt gets to the heart of your relationship problems JANE’S O’GORMAN’S
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charge and last approximately four minutes.Is my ex-daughter-in-law up to no good?
I don’t want her to think that
I’m a fuddy-duddy or that I’m
holding out on her.
Please don’t agree to help this
woman. If she has money to
invest, then let her find her own
vehicles. If her hotshot new
boyfriend is so clever, then why
isn’t he advising her?
Unfortunately there are a lot
of unscrupulous people around;
people who would happily exploit
someone as trusting as you.
You may not consider yourself
vulnerable, but if you give her an
inch, then you could risk your
relationship with your son, new
daughter-in-law and beloved
grandchild. You have something
that this woman craves and that’s
access to numerous bank
accounts where she would very
much like to stash her cash. Do
you know the true provenance of
her money? Do you know anything
about her new boyfriend or how
they managed to amass this
fortune? Of course you don’t.
I understand that you tried to
do her a kindness by supporting
her after the breakdown of her
marriage, but she’s nothing to
you now. You don’t know the full
details of your son’s split as it’s
very possible that he spared you
a huge amount of detail. Your
son’s new family are your future.
Tell your son everything today
so that there are no more secrets
and this woman no longer has any
kind of hold over you. I suspect
your son will be furious and may
even accuse you of beinghad a terrible row and he threw
her out. If I’m honest I felt sorry
for her to begin with. I felt that
my son had treated her harshly
and continued to text her and
see her just until she was back
on her feet. But she’s never
really gone away and she’s with
someone new now.
She boasts that this man is
terribly clever. Apparently he’s in
finance; he’s an investor who has
made her a lot of money – hence
her need to spread it all around.
She swears the money won’t be
in my accounts for long.
She is planning to buy a large
buy-to-let property in London.
My gut feeling is that she isn’t
telling me the truth and that I
shouldn’t trust her. But what can
I do or say when she can be so
persuasive and persistent?Contact Jane at S Magazine, Second Floor,
Northern & Shell Building, 10 Lower Thames
Street, London EC3R 6EN or email jane.
[email protected]. Jane regrets that
she cannot reply personally to your letters.Contact Dr Leonard at S Magazine, Sunday
Express, Second Floor, Northern and Shell
Building, 10 Lower Thames Street, London
EC3R 6EN, or email [email protected].
uk. Dr Leonard regrets that she cannot reply
personally to letters. Read her column every
Tuesday in the Daily Express.As my husband no longer has
sex with me, I have to wonder
who he’s sleeping with
instead. He’s gone from being
a man who required sex twice
a day to someone who comes
and goes at all kinds of odd
hours and is vague about
where he’s been. When
I question him, he accuses
me of being ridiculous.
Sometimes individuals stop
having sex if they’re depressed,
ill or are abusing drugs or
alcohol, but if you’re convincedthat your husband is physically
and mentally fine, then he has
to tell you what is going on.
Make it clear that you wish to
save this marriage. Emphasise
that sex is important to you, too,
and that you miss his touch.
If it’s a question of confidence,
then can you and he go back to
basics with date nights and
early bedtimes? Don’t let him
fob you off, so make it clear that
you will get to the bottom of this
if there is, indeed, someone
else in his life.Sex matters
two-faced or naïve, but you have to
emphasis that you never meant
any of this to happen. You always
acted with the best of intentions.
Make it clear that you’re sorry
and would now like his love and
support. It’s possible that he may
see fit to investigate his ex-wife’s
actions further and possibly even
consult a solicitor regarding her
requests. Hold your nerve;
remember that you’re not a bad
person and resolve to be stronger
and more astute in future.Dr Rosemary Leonard MBE is a GP with many years’
experience working in London’s top teaching hospitalsDoctor, doctor
Jane O’Gorman
My ex-daughter-in-law is putting
pressure on me to look after
some money for her. She knows
that my late husband was a
prudent, clever man who set up
various bank and building society
accounts for me before he died.
As a result I’ve managed to live
a decent, if slightly frugal life,
since his passing in 2009. Now
my ex-daughter-in-law wants to
deposit varying amounts under
my name and I don’t know if it’s
such a good idea.
For a start, I know my son
won’t be happy that I’m still in
daily contact with her. He’s now
married to someone new and
they have a baby boy who I’m
ridiculously besotted with. He
and his ex-wife broke up when
he discovered that she’d been
sleeping with her ex-partner. TheyI’m on statin medication for a
high cholesterol level, but I’m
worried that damage could have
already occurred to my arteries.
Can I have this tested?Tests for atherosclerosis, where
the arteries have become furred,
involves passing tiny tubes into
them and injecting radiopaque
dye that can be seen on anX-ray screen. While this invasive
procedure is justified when
someone has symptoms, it is not
worthwhile in patients who are
well. The best you can do now is
to try to prevent any more damage
to your arteries, which means
controlling your cholesterol level,weight, blood pressure, taking
regular exercise and not smoking.