Frankie

(Frankie) #1

Knock knock. Who’s there? An unknown caller. An unknown caller,
who? An unknown caller who I’ve redirected to my voicemail
because this is 2018 and who speaks on the phone these days?


Knock knock, again. Who’s there, again? The same caller. The same
caller, who? The same caller who just left a voicemail, except now
they’re also texting and emailing and sending Facebook messages,
just in caseI didn’t happen to see they’d tried to call.


Oh, I saw their missed call, all right. I saw their text message,
and email, and Facebook message, too. My question is: Why stop
there? Why not send a carrier pigeon or a dogsled team? If you’re
so desperate to reach me, why not walk to my house? This kind
of communication spam is next level, and I’ve been on the receiving
end of it enough to know that it’s more than just ineptitude – it’s lazy
and straight-up inconsiderate. Whenever it happens, I want to reach
into my device, grab the offender by the shoulders and holler,
“JUST ONE, MATE. CHOOSE ONE PLATFORM AND STICK TO IT.”


Most people get that each communication tool serves its own
specific purpose: Facebook Messenger makes organising group
hangouts and events easy because correspondents can leave
the chat at any time. Snapchat is great for stupid selfies and
drunken conversations that deserve to be erased the moment
they’re opened. Phone calls are for emergencies and heart-
to-hearts. Generally, people appreciate that having multiple
messaging platforms at our disposable is a gift, especially for


those of us who are too busy (practically everyone) or suffer
from social anxiety (hello).
But some people want to watch the world burn. They have no
respect for social etiquette and thus belong in jail, with all the
other white-collar criminals. It’s your sibling who comments on
your Instagram post with a question, then immediately follows up on
WhatsApp. It’s your boss who organises a Skype conference in order
to discuss topics that were covered in an already comprehensive
email. It’s your friend who makes dinner plans via Twitter direct
message, only to send you the reservation details on LinkedIn
because they just happen to be logged in. Or maybeyou’rethat
person. Maybe it’syouwho’s part of the problem. In which case,
please take this moment to delete at least one of your social
media accounts.
All I want is for modes of communication to be streamlined


  • particularly when it comes to phone calls. Let me clarify: I don’t
    dislike speaking on the phone. In fact, I’m always down for a hearty
    gasbag, but that gasbagging needs to be scheduled in! I hate being
    caught off guard when I’m working, or cooking, or mid-wipe on
    the loo – give a gal some warning before she has to start offering
    life advice or debriefing on the goings-on of your day. Between
    family, relationship and work commitments, we’re all becoming
    increasingly time-poor, so there are few moments to devote to
    awkward phone chit-chat – or disjointed conversations taking place
    over multiple apps, for that matter.
    Everyone has a preference in the way they contact people, and
    the way they like to be contacted, and it pays tounderstand this
    on both personal and professional levels. If you can identify that
    your colleague prefers texting to calling outsidebusiness hours, or
    that your kid brother exclusively uses Snapchat and not Messenger,
    follow their lead, and your relationships will probably benefit as
    a result. You might find that people respond to you quicker, or even
    start responding at all. Communication spammers, take note

  • or you’d better drop the phone/tablet/computer and put your
    hands in the air where I can see them.


call rejected


MICHELLE LAW HAS HAD ENOUGH


OF YOUR COMMUNICATION SPAM.


Photo

Lukasz Wierzbowski

rant
Free download pdf