seek her counsel,she spokeof bouts of anxietyand dep-
ression,and of a three-weekinternmentat a mental-health
facility,wheresheunderwentelectric-shocktherapy.It is
unfortunate,again,that such significantepisodesas these
aren’t positionedin time or space:did they happenin the
backwardand provincialNew Zealand of, say, the 1950s,
or even later, or elsewhere?
There are severalother misseddetailsthroughoutBecoming
Colleen. AmongYoung’smany recollectionsto-camera,we
learn that she had workedas a projectionistin a cinemanear
a shoe shop, whichindicatesan interestin film that a film
abouther could certainlyhave made more of.Becoming
Colleenalso excerptssome footagefrom home movies,and
at the very least we could have been informedwhetherYoung
had shot these videosherself.And, of her time in the police
force, an ominous,but unexamined,note is struckwhen Young
says that ‘a lot of peoplewere very viciousin those early days
when [she] was a cop’. Were peopleunkindbecausethey knew
hersecret,orintuitedthatshewasclosetedin onefashionor
another?Did she fear being outed – or, worse,being bashed
by ignorant,beery small-towners,notwithstandingher position
of powerto send any assailantsto the lock-up?
Accordingto Thomson,the film ‘becamemuch more than
just a personal story about Colleen’s life’:It becamea storyabouttransgen-
derism,aged care, [and] also about
self-loveandacceptanceandwhat
weneedtodoasa societytoem-
bracethediversitythatis inherent
in our society and in our culture.^4Toitscredit,BecomingColleendoes- throughVlahakis– invokethe ur-
gentissueofregionalisolation,which
is only magnifiedby old age and the
pressurefaced by LGBTQIA+individualsto stay ‘in the closet’.
As the film also makesplain, elderlyLGBTQIA+peoplehave
long had reasonto dread the prospectof spendingtheir twi-
lightyearsbeingattendeduponbypeoplewhoareinsensi-
tive, or even hostile,to fundamentalmattersof their identity
and self-esteem.Fellowpatientsin such facilitiesmay not
be healthycompanyto keep, either.Even a supportivefriend
amongthem – in Young’scase, an old dear by the name of
MarjoryRiordan– might still fail to, say, incorporatethe ap-
propriatepronounswhenspeakinganecdotallyabouttheir
new, non-cisgenderfriend.Most significantly,Becoming
Colleendoes not draw specificattentionto the struggles
facedbyelderlyLGBTQIA+folktobeaddressed,dressed
and respectedin death as the peoplewhomthey had identi-
fied as duringlife. One might have thoughtthat these could
have providedthe perfectcoda to a filmic portraitof a woman
with such a clear vision for how she wishedto be treated both
duringthelaterstagesofherlifeandin death.
Poignancy amid missteps
Heatherdied not long beforefilmingcommenced;Vlahakis
positsatonepointthatherpassingwasthelikelytriggerfor
Young’sbelatedtransition,with all the intimationsof her own
mortalitythat such a traumaticevent wouldpresent.We never
learnwhatpronounsHeatherusedtorefertoYoung,though
we do know that she was the only person, during her ownlifetime,in whomYoungconfidedabout her identitystruggles.
AnABCLifearticlereportsthat the latter only revealedher
desireto live as a womanto Heathersome twentyyears into
their marriage,upon being discoveredby her dressedin her
shoesandclothes.^5 And, throughoutthe film, Youngoften
atteststo Heather’skindnessand supportiveness,and to
the joy she derivedin takingwalks – and even cruises– as
well as in attendingparties with her wife with both of them
dressedas women.
Thomson,wisely,gives Youngthe last, heartbreakingwords
spokenin the film, our subjectadvisingus to ‘hope that some
of those thingscome along that you wouldlike. You probably
won’t get them but one can but wish. The main thing in my
life is wishing.’After a slow fade to black,text appearson
screennotingYoung’spassinga few monthsafter filming
wrapped.More cheerily,it notes that Ward and Stantonwere
by her side, and that she did leave this world wearingher
favouritepair of shoes.Whetherthis documentary– a testa-
ment to a life lived sadly unfulfilledin one criticalaspect,and
which will long outliveits subject– amountsto a whollydigni-
fied farewellto this mortalcoil is debatable.Indeed,at times,
it is over-soundtrackedand stiltedwith gormless,current-
affairs-likecamerawork,detractingfrom the film’s overall
poignancy. But if, afterproperuse of pronouns,shoes can be
said to serve asBecomingColleen’s
second-strongestmetonymfor gen-
der affirmation,then let it be said
that Youngdid indeeddie a woman.
Whethershe was also interredthus- per the potentimagethat I opened
this essay with, and whichshe her-
selfwishfullyprojected – one can
only hope.
https://www.becomingcolleen.comCeriseHowardteachesat RMITUniversityandco-curatesthe
MelbourneCinémathèque.A jurorforMoscow’sEast-West:
GoldenArchAwards,Cerisebroadcastson3RRR,haswritten
forbyNWRandSensesof Cinema, andco-foundedtheCzech
andSlovakFilmFestivalof Australiaaswell as tilde: Melbourne’s
Trans & Gender Diverse Film Festival. mEndnotes(^1) Thefacility’sproprietoris theorganisationFreshHopeCare,
whichidentifiesitself as a ‘Ministry’of Churchesof Christin New
SouthWales;see ‘About’,FreshHopeCare website,https://
[http://www.freshhopecare.org.au/about/,](http://www.freshhopecare.org.au/about/>,) accessed29 May 2019.
(^2) Ian W Thomson,in ‘Director,Ian W ThomsonTalks About
the Film’,BecomingColleenofficialwebsite,https://www.
becomingcolleen.com/videos/, accessed29 May 2019.
(^3) Ian W Thomson,in Sally Goldner,‘BecomingColleen, IWD,
ParliamentBreachingLawsand More’,Outof thePan, 3CR,
10 March2019,https://www.3cr.org.au/outofthepan/
episode-201903101200/becoming-colleen-iwd-parliament
-breaching-laws-and-more, accessed11 May 2019.
(^4) Thomson,in ‘Director, Ian W Thomson Talks About the Film’,
op. cit.
(^5) JenniferKing, ‘TransgenderWomanColleenYoung’sDream
of BeingWho She WantedWas Her Secretfor Morethan 80
Years’,ABCLife, updated15 May 2019,https://www.abc.
net.au/life/transgender-woman-colleen-youngs-dream-to-live
-as-she-wanted/10928666, accessed 29 May 2019.
ElderlyLGBTQIA+people
havelonghadreasonto
dreadtheprospectof
spendingtheirtwilightyears
beingattendeduponby
peoplewhoareinsensitive,
orevenhostile,to
fundamentalmattersoftheir
identity and self-esteem.
88 • Metro Magazine 201 | © ATOM