LEAH // Abe and I originally met in Paris in 2011. My friend and
I were travelling around Europe and stumbled into this bar one
night where Abe and his band were playing. It was a big, messy
night, and afterwards we joined the band on tour. Abe and I spent
full days together, but knew we’d have to say goodbye, so it was
like one last hurrah before my friend and I went to settle in the UK.
He went back to the States, life happened, and while I was away
I got married.
I returned to Australia in 2017, and my partner and I broke up.
I’d actually always had this fantasy of bumping into Abe again,
but didn’t think it was realistic. Then one day he came up in my
‘people you may know’ list on social media. We started chatting
online and just picked up where we left off, really. Years had
passed, but it felt so easy. In August last year, we booked a couple
of shows with our bands and planned a road trip across America –
that was the fi rst time we’d actually seen each other since 2011.
We’ve been in a long-distance relationship ever since, and Abe’s
going to try moving to Melbourne next year. It’s funny, because
couples often start off in the same place, then go through long
distance, but we’ve done it backwards.
We’re pretty cheesy – he’ll order me Uber Eats as a surprise,
and we FaceTime each other while watching a movie at the same
time. We’ve also sent each other undeveloped rolls of fi lm – little
things like that. It’s actually been good for me to enjoy my own
company and not need to have someone else by my side to feel
content in what I'm doing. As much as I’m excited to reunite, it's
actually a hard thing for me to consider sharing a space with Abe.
It’s diffi cult sharing emotions through a screen, though. There are
things you need physical contact to get across, and sometimes all
I want to do is give him a hug. But we’re very open with one another
- if something’s on our minds, no matter how silly, we’ll just say it.
If you don’t, your mind comes up with far worse outcomes. You
have to have trust when doing long distance – trust that it’s
worth hanging in there for.
ABE // When Leah and I reconnected online after all those years,
it was really exciting. It was this big blast from the past that
started off with the occasional ‘like’ or Instagram comment and
went from there. I remember when she came to New York for our
road trip, I was hugging her and could feel her heart pounding.
There was tonnes of adrenaline between us – we were just so
nervous. But then we went to the bar to chill out and it was totally
normal. You know those really good friends you can go months
without speaking to, and when you see them again it’s like you
were never apart? It was like that.I hadn’t done long distance before, so I was iffy about it for a while.
I was like, “Is this really going to pan out and turn into something?”
We had to decide who was going to make the sacrifi ce and take
the step to live in the other’s country. I have my music in LA, my
work, my own life, so I was apprehensive to tear out the roots I’d
made. But then I went to see her in Melbourne two months ago
and thought, “I could live here.” It took me making up my mind and
saying I’m going to put in the work to get it done. Now moving is
something to look forward to.The time difference can be a big issue. Right now, my schedule only
allows a 30-minute window to talk each day, so it’s pretty rough.
Texting is also a challenge, because it’s hard to put any sort of nuance
in there. But there are ways to work around it. I was feeling really
blue recently – Leah was supporting and listening to me – then I got
a knock on my door and a guy was delivering me a single rose. I was
like, “What’s going on here? I think you’ve got the wrong place.” But
then I saw it was from Leah. It made me feel so much better.I’d always told myself that doing long distance was totally
unrealistic and impossible; I’ve pretty much eaten my own words.
I think you have to be a secure and mature person to do it. And
you have to make sure your partner is on the same page as you.
There’s a bit more intent than casually dating someone who lives
in your neighbourhood.leah, melbourne, australia
& abe, los angeles, usa