Reader’s Digest Canada – September 2019

A massive skirt!

More skirt!

MORE.

Now put a skirt over

her face!

God, yeah, that’s

the stuff.

— @WHATMADDNESS

)Judge: Sir, you have

been charged with

stealing penguins from

the zoo.

Me: *Lips right on mic*

I needed groomsmen

for my wedding, your

honour.

— @DAFLOYDSTA

ultimately, Pet Sematary

is a film about the

importance of keeping

your cat indoors.

— BRUDGER WINEGAR,

comedian

)How many cats walk

by the telephone pole

with their “missing”

flyer on it? Just another

reason to teach your cat

to read.

— @KENDRAGAYLORD

Marriage Material

)[Inventing wedding

dresses]

Bad Match
Date: I love car-chase
action scenes.
Me, a fruit-stand
vendor: I think we’re
done here.
— @ABBIEEVANSXO

Roll Call
“Anybody here
named Jeff?”
Jeff: “Yes.”
Geoff: “Yeos.”
— MATT TOBEY,
comedy writer

Feline Funnies
)I would say that,

Send us your original

jokes! You could earn $50

and be featured in the

magazine. See page 9 or

rd.ca/joke for details.

THE BEST JOKE I EVER TOLD

By James O’Hara

Imagine if Edward Scissorhands didn’t have

scissors for hands and everyone just called

him Edward Hands.

James O’Hara is a Toronto-based comedian. Follow

him on Twitter and Instagram @JamesOHaraAF.

reader’s digest

rd.ca 69

LAUGHTER

the Best Medicine