Runner’s World UK – September 2019

SEPTEMBER 2019 RUNNERSWORLD.COM/UK 031

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life in running involves different seasons – not just the

annual ones, I’m talking about the whole journey. Spring is

the beginning, the discovery of running. The sport is simple,

life-enhancing and readily available. For most of us this

segues into a glorious summer as we embrace improvement.

We want to run faster, and realise that the more we run, the

faster we get; and the faster we get, the more we want to

run. This uncomplicated relationship between endeavour

and reward propels us to hitherto unimagined feats: PBs,

even longer distances. It’s intoxicating. We are recalibrating our reality. There

are moments when we might think our summer will last forever –running will

be a process of ever-increasing speed and constant improvement.

Alas, no. Autumn comes – farewell to pace, the shedding of an old identity

and the forming of a new one. It is the season I am cresting. It will, I hope, be

a time for experimentation, longer distances, adventure races, quirky events

involving the drinking of alcohol, foreign trips. But for now, as has often been

the case recently, I am engaged in a fairly tiresome process of recovery. The last

year has been a saga of back problems and hernia complications, culminating in

the operation I described last month (possibly in a bit too much detail).

The advice for returning to running varied. Most experts prescribed caution

and some cross-training. The general idea was about a month before proper

running could be attempted. But 10 days in and I was struggling. Every day I’d

gingerly walk the dogs as runners sailed by. It’s amazing how many runners

you notice when you’re not one of them. The feeling was one of disconnection,

of missing out on half my life. ‘I’m not one of the walking people,’ I wanted to

cry. ‘I’m a runner. I run!’

I prowled the house like a moody wolf. The woods were calling me, but I

couldn’t enter. Compounding my torment was the fact that working on my

forthcoming book had sent me on a mission to find old running photos, in the

Tonky Talk

BY PAUL TONKINSON

process of which I had unearthed

dusty running diaries. The most

bittersweet were from when I was

about 19, back from university in the

summer holidays. I wasn’t really

running much at this stage but was

still, it seems, shockingly fit. Here’s

an entry: ‘7 miles easy with hills,

middle mile in 5:35, felt good’. Two

days later: ‘14.5 miles cross-country

• smooth/finished strong’.
  I don’t keep a diary now, but if I
  did, there would be few parallels. The
  only way I’m doing a 5:35 mile in the
  middle of a seven-miler now is if I
  happen upon zombies, and 14.5 miles
  cross-country would not be smooth.
  Of course, this was the height of my
  summer. The irony is that now, when
  I want to give it full beans, I can’t.
  Two weeks after the operation,
  I crack. I have to run. It’s either that
  or go mad. So I venture out onto the
  Parkland Walk, a woodland path
  linking Finsbury Park with Highgate
  Woods. The area of the operation is
  tender and it feels weaker. That’s the
  thing with operations – you’ve been
  cut. You’re better, but you feel you’ll
  never be the same. It feels absurd that
  I’m going to run but, bracing myself,
  I do. Very short steps at first, stepping
  as softly as possible. No pace at all,
  I just need to move, wake myself up.
  Runners pass me constantly. I’m off
  to the side, it’s like I’ve hit the wall in
  the marathon and am just plodding.
  I’m jogging for two minutes, walking
  for a bit and then off again. But I feel
  back, so back. Off the pace, certainly;
  tentative, yes, but my axis has tilted. I
  am running now. I have crossed back
  over – my body floods with relief.
  From a distance I must look strange,
  an extremely slow middle-aged man
  jogging down the side of the path
  giggling to himself, close to tears.
  This, I think, is autumn.

‘I’M NOT ONE OF THE WALKING

PEOPLE. I’M A RUNNER. I RUN!’

Check out Paul and fellow comedian

Rob Deering’s running podcast, Running

Commentary – available on iTunes and

Acast. @RunComPod

A

YOU KNOW...

...you’ve lost too

much sweat on

your run when you

take off your top

and it breaks.

...it’s time to do

something about

the hard skin on

your heels when

you find it can

be used to

grate parmesan

(how you came

to be doing this

is another – far

more worrying –

matter).

...you should

reconsider those

compression

tights when you

pull them as far as

your knees and

feel the need for

a recovery meal.