Pick Me Up! Special – September 2019

I

’msofrustratedwithmyteendaughter.I seesuchpotential,butshe

won’tstudyandjustwantstohangoutwithherfriends.Should I

giveheranultimatum – get her life on track or move out?

Keeley,Worcester

Answers on page 61

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24

JO SAYS:

It’snotclearfromyourquestionhowold

yourdaughterisbutanyteenagerisstilla

childandsoI wouldn’tbetoohardonher.

Weallreachmaturityatdifferenttimesandit’snotfairtoexpectan

18-year-oldtobereadytomoveoutif shestillfeelslikea 14-year-

oldinside.Herpotentialisherbusinessandyou’ddowelltostop

pressuringhertomeetherpotentialbecause,again,she’lldothat

whenshe’sready.I would,however,suggestif she’snotgoingto

studythatyoumakehomelifea luxury-freezoneforher. Explain

thatif she’snotgoingtopullherweightshecanexpect3-mealsa

daybuttherest(laundry,toiletries,wifi,phoneetc)isdowntoher.

If shewantsthesethingsshe’llhavetogeta joborknuckledownat

school and negotiate with you. This is a phase and it will pass.

PickMeUp!

readerJessfrom

YES Londonsays:

She’slivingunderyourroofand

youhaveeveryrighttomake

surethatshe’snotcoasting

along.Givingherthisultimatum

mightjustbewhatsheneedsto

kickstartthinkingaboutwhat

shereallywantsoutoflife.Sit

herdownandtellherthatyou

aregivinghera deadline.Make

it a reasonableamount of time

but stick with it.

PickMeUp!

readerVikkifrom

NO Cornwallsays:

Thatisn’tthesupportivething

todo.Shecouldjustbereally

scaredaboutthenextbigstage

ofherlifeandreallyunsure

ofwhattodo,andyou’lljust

bepushingheraway.Instead,

helpherfigureoutwhyshe’s

avoidingherstudies.Isshe

struggling?Wouldsheratherdo

somethingelse?Listenandoffer

solutions, not ultimatums.

Time wasting

Would tough love

help her shine?