“You’re actually protecting kids
when you teach them to take risks in
a way that’s responsible,” explains
Caroline Paul, who once shot a river
on a raft made of milk bottles. “You’re
not supposed to go zooming outside
your comfort zone from zero to 60.
Adventuring teaches you that’s not the
way it works — you have to take small,
small steps.”
Here’s an example: climbing a tree.
Children who’ve climbed trees from an
early age naturally listen to their own
“little belly feeling” of how high is safe,
says Anya Perkins from Nature Play QLD.
On the other hand, kids who are new to
tree-climbing tend to be less tuned into
this warning voice.
So, to encourage brave kids, you need
to encourage them to understand their
own capabilities, says Anya. You might
ask, “How high up that tree do you think
you’ll feel comfortable?” or “How can
you tell that branch is strong enough?”
This way, you don’t neglect children’s
safety but you’re not always saying they
shouldn’t or can’t. By allowing children
to develop their own judgement, you
empower them to keep themselves safe.- Let there be gangs
Were you ever a part of a neighbourhood
army of kids, invading local creeks or
building cubbies in scraps of land?
The sense of belonging, independence
and rivalry in these gangs did great
things, says Anya Perkins. Naturally
braver children had the chance to lead
and stretch themselves. More reserved
children could watch, see something was
possible then try it themselves.
You can encourage gangs back into
neighbourhoods — and adapt them for
busier ones — by hosting barbecues,
asking friends on outdoor play dates
and lobbying schools to build nature
playgrounds that stay open after class,
says Maggie Dent.
A parent can stay within shouting
distance and, for very little kids, even
parks are a substitute. “What we do
know is any time you go to force a child
to do something you’ve actually set it
backwards,” says Maggie. “Taking them
to playgrounds where they watch other
children is way more powerful.”- Stay patient
So, what do you do if, after all these
things, your child still isn’t the
adventurous one? Mostly, relax. If Lisa
Blair, Jade Hameister and Caroline
Paul have one thing in common, it’s that
they’re proof that big adventurers grow
from small, scared children.
“Jade wasn’t always that kid who
would be out there leaping into the
middle of things,” says her mum
Vanessa. “Jade was the kid who stood
back and watched what was going on.
“We thought it was about letting them
believe in themselves and letting them
take baby steps.”
Maggie Dent agrees. She says the
brain’s plasticity — the way it builds new
connections throughout life — means even
timid children can learn to be adventurous
adults in their own time. We just need to
keep gently providing opportunities.
Sounds easy? Of course it isn’t.
Watching your child climb a tree is scary.
Seeing them struggle hurts. Supporting
a child through difficulty is harder than
simply rescuing them.
Sometimes, you’ll get it wrong. But
perfect parents don’t raise adventurers
— brave ones do. So, as parents, let’s
be #bravenotperfect. Let’s let the wild
adventurers grow.Jacqui Hawkins is a writer and mother of two who
loves running, climbing and daydreaming about
adventures in the mountains. Photography^ GettyImages“Part of widening the window
of tolerance is allowing kids
to face adversity, to feel
disappointment and
other negative emotions
and even to fail.”42 | wellbeing.com.au
parenting
ADVENTUROUS KIDS