hebiggestlearningfrommyscholarshipto
HarvardUniversityBusinessSchoolwasthat,
“Incrisisthereisopportunity.”Timeandagain
Ihaveseenthetruthinthissimple,profoundstatement.
Aswefindourselvesfacinga crisislikenoother—
whenthefutureoftheworldisunderthreatfrom
human-madeshortsightedness,extinctionratesare
greaterthanever,oceansarepollutedwithplastic,
recordnumbersofteenagershavementalhealth
issues,eldershavenoclearroles,thereisa tsunami
oftechnology,andArtificialIntelligencethreatens
tomakehumanstotallyobsolete—theopportunity
mustindeedbegreat.Whatif theanswertothesemostmodernofproblems
actuallyliesintheancientwisdomofRitesofPassage
thathavebeenpracticedbyIndigenouscommunities
globallyforthousandsofyears?Andwhatif their
simplebutprofoundmessage—thateveryoneis
connectedandofequalvalueandmustbesupported
tofindtheirtruepurpose—isthemedicineweneed?Inmosttraditionalcultures,RitesofPassagewill
mark,celebrateandwitnessthepivotalstages
ofdevelopment,frombirthtoyoungadulthood,
parenthoodtoeldershipandeventuallydeath.
It isa wayofmaintainingsocialstructuresothat
eachpersonknowstheirpositionandrolewithin
thecommunity,andimportantly,thecommunity
knowseachperson’srole,andwhenit changes.Thebiggestshiftistypicallyadolescence.Notonly
isit a physicalchange,butalsopsychological.A
RiteofPassageatthisstagefostersa shiftfrom
anegocentric,“I’mthecentreoftheuniverse”
mindsettoonewheretheindividual’sroleis
actuallytoserveandprioritisethecommunity
(hardtoimagine,I know,if youhavea teenager!).WiththedemiseofRitesofPassageinourmodern
Westernculture,wearefacedwiththedisastrous
consequencesofmenwhoarestillactinglikeboys—
perhapsmenwhostillneedacknowledgement,or
canneveradmittheyarewrong,orarelookingfora
motherfigure.Theissuehereiswithpersistentboy
behaviourinadultmenthatistoxic,self-servingand
disrespectfulofwomen.Tragically,thisbehaviour
canbeseeninmanyoftheleadersofournations.Buthere’sa beautifulthing:thebestwaythatindividuals
canserveisthroughtheirnaturalgifts,theirgeniusor
spirit—essentially,bybeingthemselvesandgivingto
theircommunities.InIndigenouscultures,it wasthe
roleoftheelderstorecogniseandbringoutthosegifts
andthespiritthatwasfirstseenineachofthechildren.
“Educare”istherootofourword“education,”andit
means,“Toleadoutfromwithin.”Soit isnota choice
betweentheindividualorthestate,becausethebest
waytoactuallyserveistobecomeyourself.It isnot
a sacrifice;it isthemostnaturalthingimaginable.Weallneedtokeepevolving,notjustourchildren.
Somanyadultsarestuckinoneparticularlifestage,
andfeelfrustratedbutdon’tknowhowtomoveon.
RitesofPassagearenotsupposedtobedonein
isolation.Asa childbecomesa youngadult,their
parentsalsoneedtostepintothenextstageoftheir
lives.Wemustmoveonandgivespacefortheyoungto
havetheirtime,ratherthanneedingtoholdontopower.Eachofusmustlookforthetell-talesignsoffrustration
thatsignala needforchangeata particularlifestage.
Weignoreit atourperil.Sadly,elderhoodisnotcoveted
orrespectedlikeit needstobeinthesetimes,and
thereisa globalmarketingcampaigntellingusthat
youthisthedesirableandonlyreallyacceptablelife
stage.Oneofthemostsignificantrolesoftheelderly
shouldbetocareforandpassonwisdomtothe
young,thusfreeingupthoseinthemiddletopursue
theirdesires.Notsurprisingly,it wastheelderswho
wereresponsibleforoverseeingtheRitesofPassage
intraditionalcultures,andtheirtimelydelivery.Asa 55-year-oldmanwithtwosonsaged 27 and
29,it isnotthetimeformetobetellingthemhow
tolivetheirlives.I canbetheretosupportthem
whentheyneedme,toanswertheirquestionsand
tosharemystories,butI havetoaccepttheymake
theirowndecisions.Inmyworkprofessionally,it is
timeformetobefullyfocusedonempoweringthe
nextgenerationofyoungenthusiastswhohavegreat
skillandbigenergy.I ammovingtowardselderhood
andhopefullygrandparentingatsomestage.My
goalistoembracethat,ratherthantrytoholdonto
andpretendtobeanagethathashaditstime.Itis
not easy but I know that it will free me up to enter
a new and equally rewarding stage in my life.Belonging through rites of passage
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