Woman’s Own – 19 August 2019

A problem shared

Mum-of-two

AnitaNaik

hasbeenan

agonyauntfor

25 years.

ContactAnita

[email protected],

follow her on Twitter @AnitaNaik, or go to anitanaik.com

Q

I usedtobefriendswitha groupofwomen,

butduetoa clashwithonewoman,I

stoppedseeingthem.Now,colleaguestellme

thatthiswomanis spreadingrumoursabout me

onourworkWhatsAppgroup.I’veseen

screenshotswhereshesaysI’vebeensleeping

aroundandthatI’veliedtogetmyjobinthe

school.I’mfuriousbutalsoreallyupsetbecause

I needthisjobandI don’t know what to do.

Leah,34,Beckenham

A

Bullieslikethiswomangetawaywiththis

behaviourbecausenoonewantstoconfront

them.Steponeis toreportherWhatsAppprofile:1.

Openthechat.2. Taponthecontactorgroupname

toopentheirprofileinformation.3. Scrolltothe

bottomandtapReportContactorReportGroup.

WhatsApphasrigoroustermsarounddefamatory

chat,sowillwanttodealwithit. Secondly,don’tbe

afraidtocontactthewomanandtellhertostopor

youwilltakelegalaction.Keepthescreenshotsas

evidenceandstandfirmagainstherbullyingwith

the support of your friends and colleagues.

3 ways to...

dealwith self-harm

I sufferfrom

panicattacks

Q

Yearsago,inmyteens,I had

whatI nowknowarepanic

attacks,buttheywentaway.

Now,inmylate40s,I’mgetting

themagain.I hada frightening

oneonthetrainandanotherata

station.I’mgettingafraidtogo

outalone. What should I do?

Ali, 47

A

Ifyou’veeversufferedfrom

a racing,poundingheart,

clammyhands,shortnessof

breathandfearthatyou’re going

todie,it’slikelyyou’ve

experienceda panicattack.

Thesesuddenepisodesof

intenseanxietyoftenoccurout

oftheblueandit’snotclearwhat

causesthem.Thegoodnewsis

thatcognitivebehaviouraltherapy

(CBT)canhelp,alongwithseveral

otherproventechniques.See

yourGPandcontactAnxietyUK

for more help and information.

Hewon’tfly

thenest

Q

My23-year-oldsonstilllives

athome.Hehasa girlfriend

anda greatjobbutwhenI

suggesthefindshisownflat,he

justlaughs.I doeverythingfor

himandcouldn’ttakehismoney

forrentbutsurely he should

wanttogo?

Nikki,58,EastSussex

A

Moreandmoreyoungpeople

are living at home due to the

highcostofrentingor

buying.Thatsaid

you’remakingit

super-comfortable

foryoursontostay

put.He’s 23 and

doesn’thavetopay

rent,cookordohisown

laundry,sowhywouldheleave?

Startmakinghimcontribute,even

if youthensavethatmoneyforhis

future.It’snotabouttakinghis

moneybutabouthelpinghis

transition into adulthood.

1

DOWNLOAD.

theCalmHarm

app.It featuresa

rangeofactivities

tohelp:Distract

helpscombatthe

urgebylearning

self-control;

Comforthelpsto

care;Express

Yourselfgetsthose

feelingsoutina

different way and

Releaseprovides

safealternatives.

2

TALKTO

SOMEONE.

Self-harmis a coping

strategy,sotalkto

someoneyoutrustor

contactMINDon

0300123 3393.

3

FINDYOUR

TRIGGERS.Thisis

vitalforrecovery.If

you can figure out

whatfunction

yourself-injury

serves,youcanlearn

otherwaystoget

those needs met.

55%

ofmenaged

20-24live

withtheir

parents

Youcanreport

defamatory

WhatsApp chats

Talkingto
someoneyou
trust can help
PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

She is spreading

rumours

ADVICE

Good