A Hunter speaks out
is that made them, but he definitely had big
hooves/paws/feet.
Some other translations that I have also
found to be useful include the following:
When a PH says: The runway may have the
occasional animal on it, so be sure to mention
it to the pilot.
He means: The runway will look like a
staging area for Noah’s Ark, and the pilot had
darn well better buzz the runway several times
before even thinking about landing. Have you
seen what a mature wildebeest can do to a single
prop airplane?
PH: We sometimes have hyenas right in
camp.
Meaning: You WILL have hyenas right
in camp, and unless you want your boots and
anything else made of leather chewed up and
your hat carried off, you had better put them
inside the tent next to your loaded rifle.
PH: The previous clients certainly enjoyed
their sundowners each evening.
Meaning: The previous clients were
professional alcoholics who also enjoyed their
sundowners for breakfast and lunch, and were
one stiff drink away from succumbing to acute
liver failure.
PH: We have seen the occasional snake
in camp.
Meaning: The snakes are so numerous here
that we had to stop leaving the watering hoses
out because they were scaring the camp staff half
to death!
PH: We do have some tsetse flies in the area
at that time of year and the do tend to bite a
little.
Meaning: We have tsetse flies present
practically year-round and in numbers which
approach biblical plague-like proportions.
The “bite” has been described as like being
stuck with a red-hot poker but I think the
originator of that saying was probably prone to
wild understatement.
PH: Judging from the warmth of this
elephant spoor, it appears to be several hours
old.
Meaning: I need a different job that does
not require me to stick my fingers into a large
steaming pile of elephant poop to check its
temperature.
PH: It tends to get a little warm at that
time of year.
Meaning: It will be hotter than hell itself,
and after eight hours in the sun you will begin
to look and feel like the human equivalent of
biltong.With this thoughtful bit of advice in hand,
my friend brightened considerably, and went
off to speak with more safari companies,
secure in the knowledge that he finally knew
exactly what they were trying to tell him.