HUMANS OF ŌTAUTAHI
48
“Asa girl,wholeftschoolatsixteen,I
neverdreamedofuniversityeducationor
inadulthoodgaininga Ph.D.inchemistry.I
didn’tknowaboutmyMāoriheritageuntila
fewyearsago.I hadnoidea.I wasbroughtup
entirelyPākehābutthefirsttimeI stepped
ontoa Maraetogotoa tangi,I feltcompletely
athomeandthatthisisthewaydeathshould
bedealtwith.AndthenI feltcompelledto
learnthelanguagea fewyearsago.NowI
haveanMAinMāoriandIndigenousStudies.
MyspokenTeReoisnotsogood;there’s
a lovely word in Māori, whakamā – it’s
WAIMAIRIBEACH
Jan
facebook.com/humansofchch
kindofa mixtureofperformanceanxiety,
embarrassment,shyness– whenI trytohave
a conversationI gettongue-tied,butI can
writea passableessay.I lovebrightcolours
andeveryone’salwayscommentingonhow
I neverhavebeigeorwhateveron,butI’m
onlyjustgainingconfidencenow.I camefrom
beinga childwhoalwaysfeltoverlooked,then
a personunderonedominationoranother
and[it]tooka longtimetohavethecourage
tobeme.NowpeoplethinkI couldn’tever
havebeenthatway,buta lotofthetime I feel
like I’m still like that underneath.”