Jen posits it says more about us than her. “Maybe it
has everything to do with what they’re lacking in
their own life. Maybe those are women who haven’t
gured out that they have the power, that they have
the ability to achieve a sense of inner happiness.”
Incredibly, she’s kept a sense of humour about it- even parodying herself in an ad for Smartwater, in
which she appears to be concealing triplets. It’s
possible though, that this is not so much subversion
as it is a case of ‘if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry’. In
a recent interview for InStyle, Jen pointed out the
“recklessness” of the endless pregnancy headlines.
“No one knows what’s going on behind closed doors.
No one considers how sensitive that might be for my
partner and me. They don’t know what I’ve been
through medically or emotionally.”
Moreover, she says, the obsession with her personal
life “diminishes everything I’ve succeeded at, and
that I’ve built and created”, which in addition to the
juggernaut success of Friends – for which she earned
Emmy, Golden Globe and SAG awards – includes
more than 30 feature lms, two production
companies and extensive philanthropic ventures.
Rather than distracting her from her goals,
however, the obsession incentivises her to stay
productive. “I focus even harder to tune out the
noise,” she says. “I work hard and challenge myself so
I can rise above the toxicity that’s out there.”
No void
D
espite the said toxicity of the incessant
rumours about who Jen is or isn’t dating,
the actress says she doesn’t feel like
something is missing in her life when she’s single. “I
don’t feel a void, I really don’t. When [my marriages]
came to an end, it was because we were choosing to
be happy, and happiness didn’t exist within that
arrangement any more... I would not stay in a
situation out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of not
being able to survive. To stay in a marriage based on
fear feels like you’re doing your one life a disservice.”
Female friendships are very important to Jen. One
close friend says she’s the “social glue” of their friend
group – and Jen jokingly agrees. “[Without me] they
don’t know what to do. They don’t know where to go.
They don’t know how to eat. They don’t know how
to socia lise.”
It makes sense, given Jen says her house has always
been “like the clubhouse”. “I love entertaining.
I always have food. I think I probably got that from
my mother, who always had her girlfriends over.
I picked it up from my childhood – just always
hearing girls in the house and learning how to make
a good cheeseboard.”
A natural caretaker, she wants to create a safe,
inviting home. “My priorities weren’t about nding a
partnership and who am I gonna marry and what
am I gonna wear on my wedding day. I was building
houses with shoe boxes and toilet paper and felt.
It was always about nding a home that felt safe.”For Jennifer, friendships are essential, from
valuing long-term friends to, well, Friends. “We joke
that we raised each other,” she says of her mates. We
mothered each other, we sistered each other, we’ve
been kids to each other.” She doesn’t need
marriage or children to feel complete – she’s made
a beautiful family from her friends.Ageing gracefuy
G
rowing up with a model mum wasn’t as
glamorous as it sounds, with Jen saying
Nancy was always very focused on her looks.
“It didn’t instil a lot of security in how I felt about my
physical appearance, just because she was always
telling me what to do and how to do it. You know,
‘Put your eyes on and don’t go to the market
without...’ I was 13 years old! Do I have to put my
eyes on? Aren’t they there?” she laughs. “It’s not
a criticism about her; it was just all she knew.”
Although Jen doesn’t agree with aspects of how
she was raised, she understands where her mother
was coming from. “My mum said all those things
because she really loved me,” she says. “It wasn’t her
trying to be a bitch or knowing she would be making
some deep wounds that I would then spend a lot of
money trying to undo. She did it because that was
what she grew up with. I think she was just holding
on and doing the best she could, struggling
nancially and dealing with a husband who was no
longer there. I’m sure being a single mum in the ’80s
was pretty crappy.”
Having turned 50 in February, how does Jen feel
about beauty today? “I’m comfortable in my skin,”
she says. “It’s great in your 20s and 30s, but I think
when I hit my 40s I was like, ‘This is right.’”
Celebrating a milestone birthday tends to make us
look to the future, and Jen says although she’s never
been one to have an answer to the question, ‘Where
do you see yourself in ve years?’, she admits it’s
been on her mind. “The world we’re in is so
challenging right now – the scrutiny, the way people
interact. There’s just bad behaviour around us a lot.
There have been moments when I would just love to
get out of Dodge and move to Switzerland or
somewhere and start anew. Just have this shit behind
me. Does it really matter? Are we really doing
anything? What is my life’s purpose?”
It’s on her mind, but in a good way – the
empowered way Jen has been quietly cultivating all
along. “Every seven years I try to sum up what I’m
doing and what I want to make my focus,” she says.
“I’m trying to make better choices.”
*‘I focus even harder to tune out the
noise. I work hard and challenge
myself so I can rise above the toxicity
that’s out there’
Words
Phoebe Watt
Photographs
Getty Images and supplied
SEPTEMBER 2019 / NEXT 27
COVER STORY