Woman’s Weekly UK – 06 August 2019

KEREN’S HELPLINES

WORRYING:MANAGEYOURFEARS 09044700716

CONCERNEDABOUTMEMORYLOSS? 09044700717

WHENYOURCHILDRENLEAVEHOME 09044700831

HOWTOCOPEWITHAGEINGPARENTS 09044700719

COMINGTOTERMSWITHLOSSANDGRIEF 09044700804

HOWTOBANISHYOUREMPTYFEELINGS 09044700802

Here TO HELP

womansweekly.com 35

Let counsellor Keren lighten your load

Ourrelationshipexpert

KerenSmedleyhasmore

than^20 years’ experience

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EmailWomansWeeklyPostbag@ti-media.

comWritetoHereToHelp,Woman’sWeekly,

161 MarshWall,LondonE149APVisit

Keren’s site at experiencematters.org.uk.

✿Kerenwelcomesyourletters,emailsandtexts,butshecannotreplytoindividual

cases and will select correspondence at random for publication.

PHOTO (POSED BY MODELS):

GETTY

changesyoucanmake,likegettingan

alarmortakingthebusonewayanda

cabhome.You’llstillhaveyourfreedom

but you’ll also be addressing your needs.

A

I wonderif thisis to dowith

gettingolderandfeeling

morevulnerable.

Mostof usdon’tseeaswellaswe

ageandthebrightlightsfromcarsaffect

usmore.We’realsonotasagileand

probablymoreat riskif therewasan

intruder,which,of course,is unlikely.

Rather than feeling upset, focus on the

He’schangedhistune

Q

Mysondoesn’tbelievein

Mother’sDayandhasn’tdone

anythingforit sincehewas18.

Henowhasan18-month-oldchild

andsuddenlyMother’sDaymatters.

Heevenhadthenervetoaskmeto

babysitwhilehetookhiswife out.

Ofcourse,I saidno.

Aneta,Melbourne

A

Iwonderwhatthatachieved?

Didyouexplainwhyyousaid

noandtellhimhowhurtyouare

abouttheMother’sDaysyou’vemissed

outon?Ordidyoujustpunish him

becauseyou’vebeenhurt?

Theremaybemanyreasonshe’s

shownaninterestnow.It couldbehis

wifehasshownaninterestandhe’s

respondedorthat,ornowhe’sa parent,

heappreciatesin a differentwaythe

roleof a mother,orpossiblyhethinksof

thisasa dayforparentsand youngsters

andnotadultchildren.

Whateverthereason,theonlyway

you’llresolvethisis to talkaboutit.

Withanyluck,nextyear,you’ll at least

get a bunch of flowers!

Everythingscaresme

Q

Overthepastfewyears,I’ve

becomemorefearful.

Myhusbandtravelsa lot

forworkandI nevermindedbeing

in thehousealone.Butnow, every

noisemakesmejump.

I don’tgooutasthenightdrive

homespoilstheeveningandI feel

scaredcomingintothehouse.

Mylife’sgettingsmaller and smaller.

Marion, Cambridge

A

Three-year-olds

don’tknowabout

sexualabuse,so

areunlikelyto make

somethingup.Thishas

to betakenseriously.

Yourdaughterand

son-in-lawneedto

knowand,if youfeel

comfortabletalking

to themtogether,that

wouldbeuseful,so

yourson-in-lawdoesn’t

seethisasyougetting

at hisparents.

Also,yourdaughter

needs to talk to her little

girl.Shecangentlysay

youtoldherwhatshe’d

said.If herdaughter

shutsdown,sheneeds

tocomebackto it

anothertime.

Whenyour

granddaughterhas

explained,sheneedsto

becuddledandthanked,

andtoldit’salways

goodtotellsomeone

if you’rehurtorscared.

Yourdaughterandher

husbandthenneedto

decideif theywantto

talk to his parents first

andtellthemaboutthe

accusationorto go

directlyto thepolice.

It’stheiroryour

dutytoreportwhat

happened.Thisman

mayhavealreadydone

thesametoother

childreninthefamily,

andit’simportantit’s

stoppednowforyour

granddaughter’ssake

andanyotherchild.

Formoreinfo,visit

youngminds.org.uk

orcalltheirhelpline

on 0808 802 5544.

Q

Mydaughterandherhusband

wentawayfora breakandleft

theirthree-year-oldgirl to be

lookedafterbybothsetsof

grandparents,twonightsat each.

Whenshewasgoingtobedat ourplace,shesaidthatherother

grandfatherhadtouchedherprivatesandshedidn’tlikeit.

I’veneverlikedthein-lawsso,if I tellmydaughter,she’llprobably

thinkI’mmakingit upsothegrandchildren don’t go to visit them.

Name and address withheld

MY DAUGHTER?

SHOULD I TALK TO