Your Baby – July 2019

20 | JULY & AUGUST 2019

Image: Gallo Images/Getty Images

DO WE WANT to teach our kids to obey
us? Is that what we think discipline
is about? Perhaps we could consider
another strategy, says Gail Friend, neuro-
linguistic programming practitioner and
life coach.
“Discipline is not only about managing
what you see as misbehaviour. It’s about
every interaction you have with your
child. It is having a communication
structure in your home that can be used
as a frame of reference to teach your
children how to think and self-manage,”
Gail says.
The experts say discipline is really
about guidance. It is a way to keep
children safe as they find out about
the world. They need to learn how to
manage their feelings, impulses and

Giving meaning

to discipline

actions, so they can learn and get on

with others. Discipline is also about

helping children learn the values that are

important to your family.

DON’T GIVE CHILDREN LABELS

Teaching your children to make good

choices because they want to do the right

thing and not just to avoid punishment

develops true self-discipline.

Sure, it can be frustrating when you’ve

asked your three-year-old to put on their

shoes for the third time, or when your

18-month-old decides to scribble on the

wall (again!). But, does it help to label

them naughty?

Young children’s perceptions about

fantasy and reality are not fully

developed, their world revolves around

themselves, and they don’t quite

understand consequences or morality yet.

This does not make them bad or naughty.

It is up to us as parents to teach them and

focus our communication on what we

want them to learn rather than labelling

them as “good” or “bad”, believes Gail.

“When they are defiant, pushing

boundaries and insisting on their own

way, is this really misbehaviour?

“It may feel like that, but it is part

of their developmental phase of

developing initiative.

“Learning how to facilitate this is

the answer. Again, the focus of our

communication needs to be on what we

want them to learn about the situation

rather than on their actual behaviour,”

Gail advises.

Disciplining a toddler can feel like

a battle of wills. Looking at it from

a new perspective may be the answer to

your drama, writes Lori Cohen