CARTOON: GUTO DIASMY HUSBAND IS A GOLF
INSTRUCTOR and he never fails to
amuse me with some of the remarks
his customers come up with.
He asked one if she knew of a way
the game of golf could be improved
and she replied, “Well I’ve always
thought the holes are far too small.”
LEONA HECKMAN, Denbighshire
I WAS GOING OUT ONE EVENING
and was waiting for my friends to
pick me up, but they were late.
A car pulled up outside and I dashed
out and leapt in.
“About time,” I joked, belting up
and looking round at everyone,
wondering why they were being so
quiet. It was then that I realised my
friends had just pulled up over the
road... ESTHER NEWTON Berkshire
MY GRANDFATHER TOLD ME
ABOUT A TIME IN THE 1930S
when our family had their first radio.
Being a novelty back then they had it
playing quite regularly.
However, whenever they switched
it on their neighbour in the adjoining
property started banging on the wall.
This went on for a while until one
day there was a knock on the door. It
was the neighbour, and he asked my
grandfather to be more considerate.
My grandfather said, “We never
ever have it on very loud” to which
the neighbour replied,
“That’s the trouble. Could you
please turn it up in future, we haven't
got one!” DAVID WEBB, West SussexI AM ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD AT
ALL WITH PLANTS, but I do try. OneYou Couldn’t Make It Up
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130 • JULY 2019