62 | AUGUST 2019 | L<
he old adage,
“Sticks and stones may
break my bones, but words
will never harm me” doesn’t
apply to young children who tend
to take everything you say literally.
That’s why what’s said in the heat of
the moment when you’re at the end
of your tether may confuse, humiliate
and even terrify your little one. No
one said parenting is easy, but take a
deep breath and respond rather than
react before you blurt out these:WHAT NOT
TO SAY TO
YOUR CHILD
Here’s how to negotiate your way through
challenging moments with your toddler
without lashing out. By Lynne Gidish
You’re a selfish
brat!
While children may display a
host of behaviours that come
across as selfish, hearing they’re
selfish from a parent – especially
on an ongoing basis – can have
some damaging effects in the
long run, according to clinical
psychologist Dr Colinda Linde.
“Remember, as a toddler or young
child, anything coming from you
as their parent is more significant
than what others say. If you tell a
child she’s selfish, she’ll believe
it to be an unfixable character
flaw, rather than a behaviour
she’s exhibiting at the moment.”
RATHER: Try working on her
sharing skills and discuss
how other people may feel in
response to her allegedly “selfish”
behaviour. For example, “When
a friend or sibling shares a toy,
sweet or game, how do you feel?”
and, “How would you feel if the
other person never shared?”