person is bad, this person is bad, shun
this company!” No! The bad company is
within you; it is not in the other person.
Bad company refers to your attitude. In our
Bangalore Ashram, we have two teachers
- anybody comes to one of them with any
complaint, he will blow it up. He will say, “I
agree with you. Yes, you are right!” But the
other teacher, whatever complaints come
to him, he will make sure that people leave,
feeling lighter about it.
Don’t feel obliged to say ‘yes’ to someone’s
negativity. This is another problem. When a
friend comes and complains to you about
anything, even the weather, you feel obliged
to say ‘yes’ to that complaint and flow along
with it, rather than contradicting it. Isn’t that
so? How many of you feel that way? There
is no need to feel obliged to flow along with
their negativity. Obligation itself is an illusion.
We shouldn’t feel obliged to say anything.
See, if you feel one with everybody, if you
have so much love, you don’t feel obliged at
all. Obligation comes when you feel a little
distance. If someone is really part of you, do
you feel obliged? Absolutely not! I don’t feel
obliged to anybody for anything.
Everyone is part of me, why should I feel
obliged for anything? Obligation is an
illusion. It makes you feel heavy. You carry
a load on your head and that makes you
behave unnaturally, it takes you away from
reality. When you feel obliged, then you feel
obliged to say ‘yes’ to their negativity. Then,
you become bad company for someone else.
Smile and be innocent. Smile from the core
of your heart, you will then see all negativity
flies away. When there is sunshine, the
dewdrops vanish, darkness vanishes. Your
smile is the light in your life.Stop fueling negativity, stop feeling obliged -
then you are good company. Not only that,
then you will be good company to anybody.
It needs skill to shut up someone. When
someone is so negative, if you just shut
them up and say, “This is not right, what
you say is hopeless!” they will simply shut
up, not feeling any lighter. You need skill to
deal with someone’s negativity. They will
just stop communicating with you because
they are so convinced about their negativity.
Unless you say ‘yes’ to them, they don’t feel
sympathetic. So, you need some skill to put
down their negativity. That is satsang. And
when you come from this space, you will see
that all their complaints, the minute they
become aware, start dissolving and they
start feeling lighter.It is the company, which you keep that will
pull you forward in life. Everyone needs good
company to progress. The husband gets
into bad company or the wife gets into bad
company - the seeds will rip the family apart.
Of course, when people are living together
for some years, some misunderstandings
creep up in any relationship, somebody says
something and there will be an argument. Skill
is needed to acknowledge the negativity. Yet,
not agree with it. Acknowledge it, not agree
with it, and then break it. Like snipping it off
with a pair of scissors. And move on, feeling
lighter. Your life on this planet is meant to
bring peace and lightness into everyone’s
life, not to create more complications. So,
when you feel oneness with everybody,
when you have that love for everyone, then
you don’t feel obliged. But, you have to do
it with SKILL.