Reader’s Digest UK – July 2019

A

manda tried to move

her head towards me as

I walked into the room. She

was lying on her bed, her body

motionless except for the occasional

involuntary twitch in her legs. I stood

in front of her and smiled. She made

a noise. “She says hello,” explained her

mother who was standing next to me

“I’ll leave you to it”—she walked out.

I try to understand Amanda, although

it’s difficult at times. Often I had to ask

her to repeat herself, and she patiently

did. We talked about music and what

films I’d seen recently. She asked me

about my plans for the future, about

my family. This was probably one of

the hardest job interviews I’ve ever

had. I’d never done anything like this

before. Amanda had multiple sclerosis

since the age of 17. It quickly began to

paralyse her, and for several years she

had lived in her bedroom, with her

parents as her main carers. She now

cannot move any part of her body and

the muscles in her neck are now too

weak to support her head properly.

Her speech is affected, as is her sight.

This was a truly horrific scene to

behold—this wonderful, bright

woman who at school had dreamed of

being a lawyer, her future destroyed by

this disease. This tragic scene was

being played out only a few doors

away from my house, but until this

meeting I had been unaware of it.

I was only there because I had

answered an advert in the local paper,

asking for a carer for a 27-year-old

woman with multiple sclerosis. The

interview ended, I said goodbye. A few

days later I got a message from

Amanda’s mum: I’m hired, when can

I start? I began the next day and

embarked on one of the most

formative experiences of my life. I was

17 at the time and had just finished

my A-levels. I spent the next four

months caring for Amanda and she

seemed to welcome the company of

someone nearer her own age. I took

This month, Dr Max Pemberton recounts a formative

connection from his youth which taught him much

more than any gap year ever could have...

A Bond For Life

Max is a hospital doctor,

author and columnist. He

currently works full time

in mental health for the

NHS. His latest book is a

self-help guide to using

CBT to stop smoking

H E A LTH

52 • JULY 2019