Dear Soul Mates,
I don’t want to yuck your yum, but looking
cute together doesn’t make you soul
mates. Feeling tongue-tied is normal for
new couples—and it should help that he
knows that no matter what he says, you
are going to laugh or nod or do your part
to keep the conversation going. You also
can think up questions that go deeper:
What’s the most interesting place you’ve
ever been to? What do you think of the
candidates so far? He may open up—or
you may tire of making all the effort. My
advice is to enjoy the rest of the summer
together and ease up on the pressure to
find your soul mate.Carol Weston’s novel Speed of Life is a
year in the life of a teen who reaches out
to an advice columnist during a tough
time. Follow Carol on Instagram (@carol-
westonnyc) and visit carolweston.com.Dear My Life Is a Cliché,
Don’t ask him. He may not be sure of how
he feels—and he may not be ready for a
girlfriend. Perhaps you and your friend
can agree ahead of time that no matter
what happens, you’ll always prioritize
each other and stay close. You also can
make an effort to talk about other things
besides this guy.
CONFUSED
AROUND GUYS
I don’t know how to approach guys.
I have a hard time being subtle, and
I always end up telling people who
I like—then they go tell everyone.
What do you even say to guys? Some-
times, I think all the guys my age are
just too stupid to take a hint.
Dear Confused Around Guys,
Baby steps. Instead of telling a guy you
like him or openly flirting, try talking with
guys the way you talk with girls. “How was
your summer?” “Have you read anything
good lately?” “Do you know this band?”
“Did you check out that new gallery in
town?” “Have you seen that new movie?”
Once you find something (anything!) to
talk about, you can slowly get to know
people. So while it’s one thing to think a
guy is cute, it takes longer to decide that
he’s someone you would want to spend
time with—or kiss. Don’t worry, all this
gets easier. And sometimes everything
can change with one smile.
BEST FRIENDS
So I have this good friend I’ve known
since kindergarten. She went to
another middle school, leaving me
alone. I made new friends and we
kept in touch, and she only lives
seven blocks away. But I don’t like
to start conversations, and it gets
awkward fast. One day she stopped
texting me, and I’m so confused. Is
there something wrong with me?
Dear Best Friends,
Not at all! We all feel awkward and
self-conscious at times, not just you. And
Dear Carol
TOUCHY TOUCHY
This boy I met this year is nice and a
good friend, but lately he has been
acting really weird around me. I have
been told he likes me, which may be
true as he does random things to get
me to touch him. Like yesterday hesaid his hands were cold and
asked me to warm them up.
Today, he said he was giving out
free hugs and gave me a hug.
I just feel so awkward around
him. How do I tell him I don’t
want him to touch me?Dear Touchy Touchy,
If you don’t want him to touch you,
he doesn’t get to touch you. Your
friendship might have an awkward
period, but tough luck—it’s still
hands-off for him. Often, guys (or
girls) get the message fairly quickly
that a crush is one-sided—and that
beats a heart-to-heart in which
you have to spell out the bad
news. But if ever someone is more
touchy-feely than you want, it’s
absolutely OK to say, “Hey, hey, a little
space, please.” Or, “Your hands are cold?
Rub them together.” Or even something
more direct like, “Please don’t touch me
like that.” If he seems upset or things
stay weird, maybe he’s not as good of a
friend—or a guy—as you thought.48 GL AUGUST | SEPTEMBER 2019
she did not abandon you— she just
started going to a different school. Don’t
hesitate to be the one to text her, or since
she lives nearby, maybe even stop by and
knock on her door. Summer might be a
great time to try to reconnect. Rather
than waiting for someone else to start a
conversation, you can be the one to get
the ball rolling again. A quick, “How’s it
going?” may be all it takes.SOUL MATES
My boyfriend and I are like soul
mates. We have the sweetest text
convos, look cute together and love
being around each other. So what’s
the problem? He isn’t that much of
a talker. He just answers with a “ya”
or “no,” and then we end up sitting
there awkwardly. How can I get him
to talk more so that part of our rela-
tionship is as good as the rest of it?LUXY IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES