Soap Opera Digest – August 05, 2019

(やまだぃちぅ) #1
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pampering a hotel regular,
rock star El Rey, who’s
longing for his mother’s
homemade treats.)
Alicia: “We’re already
shipping them overnight
from Los Angeles.”
El Rey: “Exactly. I don’t
want a day-old pastelito.”
Alicia: “Maybe we should
just buy them a first-class
plane ticket so they can
get here the same day?”
El Rey: “That’s crazy.
They’re just pastries.
They can fly coach.”

YOUNG AND RESTLESS
(Adam gets impatient
with Kevin.)
Adam:“Where is the dirt
on Nick that’s gonna bury
him and win me custody
of my kid?”
Kevin: “These things
take time.”
Adam: “Okay, sleep less.”
Kevin: “Look, I spent all
day at Nick’s old computer,
going through individual
files, thousands of them.
It’s not like he has a folder
labeled ‘Top Secret Stuff
That Could Screw Me
In Court’. ”

(Billy is shocked to learn
from Jack that Phyllis is
now CEO of Dark Horse.)
Billy: “How did you
find out?”
Jack: “Ah, she took
great pleasure in deliver-
ing the news in person,
along with an elaborate
gift basket.”
Billy: “What, seasonal fruit
and plastic explosives?”

DAYS OF OUR LIVES
(Xander trains his gun on
Ted when he reaches for
his pocket.)
Ted: “I’m not armed.
I just have something in
my pocket that I want to
show you.”
Xander: “Thanks, but
no thanks.”

(Maggie is surprised when
Xander announces his
intentions.)
Maggie: “You want to
woo my daughter?”
Xander: “It’s a tough call.
Part of me wishes to keep
my feelings to myself.”
Maggie: “You didn’t have
any trouble expressing your

feelings when you took
Sarah to bed.”

(Jack, Salem’s mayor, offers
a job to Justin.)
Justin: “I would rather
gargle glass than work for
you.”

GENERAL HOSPITAL
(Laura is delighted to run
into Robert.)
Laura: “Robert Scorpio!
Just the man I wanted to see.”
Robert: “You know, the
last time a woman said that
to me, she was holding me
at gunpoint.”

GRAND HOTEL
(Alicia loses her patience

Forget AMERICAN


HOUSEWIFE! Some Of TV’s


Funniest Lines Are On Soaps.


classic


No And Tell: DAYS ’s
Xander (Paul Telfer,
l.) had no interest
in seeing what Ted
(Gilles Marini) was
packing.

XJ JOHNSON/JPI
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