92 newyork| february17–march1, 2020
THE APPROVAL MATRIX Our deliberately oversimplified guide to who falls where on our taste hierarchies.
PHOTOGRAPHS: GLOBAL NEWS/YOUTUBE (DONALD TRUMP); THE C
RCUS ON SHOWT
ME/W
KMED
A (ROGER STONE); EMOJ
PED
A (EMOJ
); TODAY/YOUTUBE (ROSE MCGOWAN) ; E! RED CARPET & AWARD SHOWS/YOUTUBE (NATAL
E PORTMAN); NEW YORK C
TY POL
CE DEPARTMENT (NYPD); M.S. RAU ANT
QUES (SEX CHA
R); HLOOM TEMPLATES/W
KMED
A (DEBT); CRZRUSS
AN, CROPPED BY ANGR/W
KMED
A
(GUL
AN
); PR
ME M
NSTER
’S OFFICE, GOVERNMENT OF IND
A/W
KMED
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X J
NGP
NG); AR
T BASEL/YOUTUBE (ART BASEL); JOHN MATHEW SM
TH/W
KMED
A (PETE R
OSE); DAV
D P
AUL OHMER/W
KMED
A (CH
NATOWN); MORR
SCORNBREAD/
NST
AGRAM (CORONA V
RUS PRANK
); SMARTSH
VA/W
KC
OMMONS (JOKER COWS); MTA/W
KMED
A (MT
A); DAV
D BRENDEL (L
OU
S C.K.); ABC/Y
OUTUBE (BONG JOON HO;
EM
NEM); FOX NEWS/Y
OUTUBE (JUSS
E SMOLLETT
); H3 PODCAST/YOUTUBE (PAPA JOHN); NEW YORK METS (METS); DEVACURL (DEVACURL); BERN
E SANDERS CAMPA
GN (STR
OKES); GAGE SK
DMORE/W
KMED
A (M
TT R
OMNEY); MARTY SOHL/THE METROPOL
TAN OPERA (AGR
PP
NA); ADR
ANA MAR
TNEZ/RA
CHEL UFFNER GALLERY (UFFNER GALLERY); GETTY
MA
GES V
A PBS
(PAUL W
LLAMS
); JEREMY DAN
EL/P
AGE 73
(STEW); COURTESY OF JANUS FILMS (COME AND SEE); ULLSTE
N B
LD C
OLLECT
ON/MAD
AME D’ORA (MADAME D’ORA); PENGU
N RANDOM HOUSE (CH
NATOWN); S
MON & S
CHUSTER (BECOM
NG A MAN); ELKE Y
OUNG/NEXT DOOR AT NYTW (HOUSE PLANT); CATWALKER/YOUTUBE (FASH
ON); M
KEBL
OOMBERG/
NST
AGRAM (BLOOMBERG); CALEX
CO AND
RON & W
NE
(CALEX
CO AND
RON & W
NE); HER
GÉ, THE
CASTAF
ORE EMERALD
, 1961, CRAYONNÉ, PENC
L, 19
X 15 IN., COURTESY OF A. QUERTON (T
NT
N); JEFFREY
BEALL /W
KMED
A (P
ATR
CK MAHOMES
); COVETEUR/
NST
AGRAM (CHEER); JOHN HUNT
NGT
ON (M
KE FORNA
TALE); SARGE’S DEL
(REUBEN); ET STYLE/Y
OUTUBE (T
MO
THÉE CHALAMET); FOURSQUARE (NOSTRAND); FOX SPORTS/TW
TTER
(DOG SHOW)
And wants the
courts to go easy on
Roger Stone ...Sofar, techno-
authoritarian
governmenthas
notstopped
coronavirus.And again
proposes to eliminate
the NEA.Thedeclineofthe
BrooklynEagle.U.S. householdsare
inmoredebtthan
ever, warnsthe
Federal ReserveBank
ofNewYork.TheStrandis
openingonthe
UpperWestSide.P. Carl’s memoiron
Becominga Man
inthetimeofMAGA.Joyce DiDonato
is almost having too
much fun in
Agrippina at the
Met Opera.“Futuro Modular,”
upstairs at Rachel
Uffner Gallery.CharlesYu’s
bitingInterior
Chinatown.Portia’sformidable
MamainStew
atWalkerspace.Thehigh-velocity
first 30 minutesof
SarahEinspanier’sHouse
PlantatNewYork
TheatreWorkshop.Finally,somereal
fashion!TheRow,
Pr oenzaSchouler, and
Oscardela Renta.PatrickMahomes’s
magicalfootballseason.MikeFornatale’s
“Goldfinger”atthe
Loser’s Loungetribute
totheRatPack.NostrandAvenue
Station’s long-
sealed-offentrances
toreopen.NetflixCheerstars
GabiButlerandLexi
BrumbackattendNew
YorkFashionWeek,
give“mattalk”
torunwaymodels.Gooddog,Daniel.
YoulosttheWestminster
DogShowtothat
stuck-uppoodleSiba,
butyouwonourhearts.TimothéeChalamet’s
parking-valetchic
attheOscars.Sarge’s Delicatessen
& DinerinMurrayHill
introducesa plant-
basedReuben.WackyInstagram
prankstersfake
a “spill”ofcoronavirus
on thesubway.Chinatownrestaurants
fallvictimto
coronavirusxenophobia.TheStrokessingtheir
derisive“NewYorkCity
Cops”toacopat
a BernieSandersrally.TheWilponskeep
losing,botchingattempt
toselltheMetsto
Steve Cohen.Wo g
DevaC their
hair fall out, asif havingcurly
hair weren’t hardenough.Jussie Smollett,
indictedagain.Fr ontrowat
ow:Sorry,renters:
Brokers’feesweren’t
canceledafterall.Cue the Godfather
soundtrack! Trump will
have his revenge on
those pesky law-abiding
deep-staters ...Tintin!Snowy!
“LineandFr ame:
A SurveyofEuropean
ComicArt”atDanese/
Coreygallery.ArtBaselHongKong
fallsvictim
tocoronavirus.Pioneeringfashion
photographer
Madamed’Oraatthe
NeueGalerie.Mitt Romney
stands alone, not a
total hypocrite.Bong Joon Ho
sweeps.TheNYPDsergeants
unionrespondsto
tworecentattackson
policebydeclaring
“war”ondeBlasio.Bill de Blasio’s new
“Save OurCity”campaign.
Fr omthepastsixyears
ofhismayoralty?CalexicoandIron&
Wine’s joyouslygrown-
upshowatthenot-so-
grown-upWebsterHall.MememasterMike.brillianthighbrowlowbrowdespicableWhocanafford to
pay$68,500for
an 1890 custom-made
Fr enchsexchair?TheMTAheartlesslyforces
its51-year-oldR-42subway
carsintoretirement.
Wait,whywas
Eminemperforming
“LoseYourself ”atthe
Oscarsin 20 20?PeteRose’s‘Butwhat
abouttheAstros?”
petitiontobeunbanned
frombaseball.Now Papa John says he
did not eat 40 entire
pizzas in 30 days, which
makes his sweatiness
even more suspect.Elem Klimov’s 1985
Soviet antiwar film
Come and See
gets rereleased.PBS doc Hollywood’s
Architect: The Paul R.
Williams Story, about the
black architect who
defined L.A. glamour—but
wasn’t always welcome
in the places he designed.Camila Cabello and
DaBaby play sorta-
silent-film stars in
the video for her
“My Oh My.”The Rose McGowan–
vs.–Natalie Portman
woke-beef.