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104 COSMOPOLITAN APRIL 2018 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.IN

quiz

By:

HELEN ZOOK;

Photograph:

ANUSHKA MENON

quiz

1. Your number in
   the food pickup
   line just got called.
   It’s 69. You:
   a. Shoot daggers at
   whoever snickers.
   Grow up already.
   b. Keep biting your
   tongue till you lose the
   urge to LOL.
   c. Feel like
   sauntering up and
   saying, ‘Your place or
   mine?’
   2. What kind
   of art do you want
   to see on a
   museum date?
   a. Sedate pastel
   watercolours.
   b. Nudes. You’ll
   adjust your
   commentary to your
   date’s sense of humour.
   c. Ancient statues,
   so you can get as close as
   possible to their marble
   ‘parts’ to take selfies.
   3. If someone sent
   an official e-mail in
   search of a
   computer dongle,
   you’d:

a. Delete, stat. You

gag just looking at the

word (and don’t even

start with moist).

b. Send a

screenshot to your

friends with a bunch of

c. Muse that you

might have seen

some on Tinder...

4. When you’re
   at yoga class
   in happy-baby
   pose, you can’t
   help but say:
   a. Nothing and
   avoid all eye contact.
   b. ‘Talk about
   opening up to
   someone...’
   c. ‘Is this how I
   can get a coregasm?’


5. Whenever you
   come across a
   ‘men at work’
   sign, you:
   a. Respect the
   rules of the road and
   slow down.
   b. Think back to
   when you and your
   ex used that phrase
   as code for a quickie.
   c. Consider
   telling the other
   passenger that you’ve
   had enough ‘working
   men’ in your life as is.

How Naughty

Is Your Mind?

MOSTLY As

PERENNIALLY

PG

You’re oblivious to

innuendo...or just ill at

ease with it. Being modest

is your prerogative, but if

you chastise every risqué

remark, your pals may think

they can’t be candid around

you. Let a naughty thought

or two cross your mind—

you might just enjoy it.

MOSTLY Bs

NAUGHTY(ISH)

BY NATURE

You entertain racy ideas

to stoke sexiness in life,

but while you’re amused

by others, you rarely get

outwardly raunchy

yourself. Under some

circumstances (e.g., away

from your boss), you let

loose, but you know

there’s a time and place

for those kinds of jokes.

MOSTLY Cs

RECKLESSLY

RACY

You put an indecent spin on

everything. That’s mostly

okay—especially if it’s not

verbalised. Bringing levity

is a good goal, but forcing

sexualised humour on

others isn’t cool. Know the

crowd before unleashing

the NSFW stuff, and save

the spicy musings for bae.

THE BREAKDOWN