TORMENTED?
DRIVEN WITLESS?
FEAR NOT,
HELP IS JUST A SHORT
LETTER AWAYASK
E. JEAN
ADVICE
Photography: Gieves Anderson. Makeup: William Murphy for Tom FordTHE RIGHT MATERIAL
There’s a man; let’s call him Miles. We
met on Tinder. We talked, then dated for
a month. He slowly started ghosting me- not all at once, but over time. I asked
him about it head on. He explained that
he doesn’t see me as “marriage material”.
I’m 26. I’ve never had a guy tell me this.
Naturally, I feel worthless now. I don’t like
the idea of a man’s opinion changing my
opinion of myself, but here we are. How
do I hit restart and stop feeling like there’s
something wrong with me? - LONE WOMAN
Lone, my duck: Who even is “marriage
material”? Someone who cooks, cleans,
takes care of the kids and asks how her
lord’s day went? Bah! A woman wants to
be CEO material. A woman wants to be
Olympic material. A woman wants to
be Prime Minister material. A woman, in
short, should want to be anything but
an outdated, patriarchal version of
“marriage material”. Really, he just gave
you a huge compliment!
CUT SHORT
Three weeks ago, I got a pixie cut. It didn’t
turn out well. It wasn’t empowering. I was
struggling to feel beautiful when I went
out with a guy who told me, “If you had
long hair you would be too hot for me.” It
was a stupid comment, but it broke me.
Now I feel unattractive. How do I gain
confidence while it grows out?- I HATE MY HAIR
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Pty Ltd, 54 Park Street, Sydney, NSW 2000.Miss Hate, my heliotrope: I was recently
flattened by a cruel autoimmune disorder
and lost every hair on my head. People
say women with buzz cuts are sylph-like
and Michelle Williams-ish. Not me. So
you know where I’m getting my
confidence? Long, flashy earrings. And
since confidence comes from feeling
good, and feeling good comes from
looking good, I have a bunch of insane
wigs, which never stay on my head as
people always want to try them on and
pretend they’re RuPaul. Give me your
address and I’ll send you one, though by
the time it arrives, you’ll have another
three-fourths of an inch and be gorgeous!CITY LIMITS
I’m a smart, attractive, single 27-year-old.
It feels like my city is made of 99 per cent
beautiful, single women, and one per cent
single men. When my friends and I go to
a bar, I feel the tension as we all pounce
on the same guy without a ring. Often we
all go home alone, frustrated and full of
competitive spite. Ever optimistic (and on
the advice of my mother), I joined a big
bro-y gym. I’ve signed up for classes. My
coupled-up female friends have promised
to introduce me to men, “if they ever meet
one who is single”. I haven’t had much
luck on dating apps. Are there any boxes
I haven’t checked?- A (WILTING) ROSE IN THE
(CONCRETE) JUNGLE
Wilting, my knockwurst: As a matter of
fact, there is a box, Wilt, old girl. I’ve
mentioned this before, but I met a mob of
millionaires in the men’s room at the horse
track. It was minutes before the big race
and the women’s room had a line. The
chaps were startled when I strolled in.
One fellow bowed. Another held the
door. A third presented his card, a fourth
handed me a towel, and so on. They
were as shocked as I was. Auntie’s point:
if you’re going to compete, Wilt, honey,
embrace the element of surprise – but
perhaps not in the loo. Slay guys on golf
courses, footy fields and in pool rooms.
The story itself will be worth the time. EAsk a question: tweet @ejeancarroll