traded to a new team, I already paid to live here
in L.A. for the entire summer. Are the Giants or
Cleveland going to reimburse me for what I’ve
already paid? Are they going to reimburse my
trainers, who I’ve already paid? Are they going
to reimburse me for the dogs who I’ve had to
put in kennels? There’s a lot of expenses. Are
they going to pay for the rehab I was doing?
No. They don’t do all of that. That stuff is all on
our own. So when it gets time for us to have our
own life outside of football, they say something.
When the game is done with you, they chew
you up, spit you out. You’re done. You’re done.
I have to take care of myself and my family.
Period. I talk to everybody in the locker room.
When someone gives me free stuff, I ask them
to send a hundred of them for my teammates.
A hundred Sprayground bags... They put them
in the locker room. I asked for them to send
me Casper mattresses. They sent me 100 Casper
mattresses for the staff and the team.
A hundred mattresses?
A hundred king-size mattresses.
How did that work logistically? Did they
send it to their houses?
They sent it to the facility. I told them to come
put ’em in their car after practice.
It seemed like the general consensus
among New Yorkers was that the Giants
didn’t get enough for you in that trade.
I didn’t care what they got for the trade.
Where were you when you got the news?
I was in Paris heading to dinner. I saw the
calls and was like, “Wow, I wonder where I’m
going.” They had been talking about trading
me. They could never get past my past. There’s
always that past that whatever happened,
I would never be able to outgrow it. That’s why
I don’t try to bring none of this to Cleveland.
I don’t even care. When I get there, this is a
fresh start for me.
But how’d you feel in that exact moment?
My initial reaction was not disappointment....
I felt disrespected. Like, after everything I’ve
done for them. This is me being honest: This
team has not been good for the last six years.
Period. Even the year we went to the playoffs
and everyone was talking about this and that.
And we went there, and I didn’t have a great
playoff game. Don’t get me wrong, I had a
terrible game. But I left the game with seven
targets, and I’m supposed to be your number
one receiver. I left the game with seven tar-
gets. We lost. They scored 40 points. It’s just
all bad. I felt disrespected, because I felt like
I was a main reason at keeping that brand
alive. They were getting prime-time games,
still, as a 5-and-11 team. Why? Because people
want to see the show. You want to see me play.
That’s just real rap. I’m not sitting here like,
“It’s because of me.” But let’s just be real. That’s
why we’re still getting prime-time games. I felt
disrespected they weren’t even man enough
to even sit me down to my face and tell me
what’s going on.
Who, specifically, is “they”? The G.M.?
The G.M. And I’ll forever have respect for
[Giants president and CEO] Mr. Mara.
Have you thought about cutting the hair
to punctuate the fresh start?
I’m thinking about it.Really?!
Yeah. But I would probably grow it back out.
I feel like after I cut it I would just get used to
not having it. But I know kids all around the
world love it.Do you think the hair is part of your
signature in the same way the Catch
logo is?
It definitely is, bro. I have a personal attach-
ment to it. Just because it’s my hair. It is my
hair. I’ve had grown men come up to me with
my haircut.That must be weird.
It is weird. But it’s, like, Aye bruh, if that works
for you.There was a period of time when a lot of
gossip sites—specifically black gossip
sites—would constantly say that you
were closeted. They’d call you “excited”
in a hot-tub photo with your teammates
or simply just say you’re gay. How’d that
make you feel?
I’ve never had an opportunity to talk about
this. Honestly wasn’t offended. I’ve never once
had no problem with anybody who has their
own personal life that they live. I have friends
who are gay. It was almost more funny to me.
I almost messed with them even more. It’s
like when someone gives me an ultimatum,
I’m usually always going to go to the oppo-
site way of what you want me to go. So when
they would say that, I would almost mess with
them even more. I have no problem with any-
one’s sexual orientation.I feel like posts like that only contribute
to homophobia in the black community.
The idea that someone must be gay—or
that being gay is in any way shameful—
because they’re dancing or have blond
hair seems so small-minded.
Or because they’re “close with other men.”
Even like little videos where they see me
leaned back or something, they’ll say that I’m
looking at a guy’s ass. And I’m like, “Bro! You
don’t even know where my mind is at.” It was
just a lose-lose. They’d see me with a white
woman and be like, “Why don’t you be with
any sisters?” I have no problem with any race.
Love is love. If you’re attracted to somebody,
you’re attracted to somebody. There was such
a stigma built up, [as though] I don’t like my
own women. It’s like, no, I don’t like anybody
who annoys me. [laughs]You’ve talked a lot about media being
unfair. Does it hurt worse when black
media sites are unfairly critical of you?
Yes, it makes it worse when it comes from the
black community. I feel like everything is a
double standard. You want us to support the
black community, and then you go out and
bash black people for being happy. So some-
one can’t be happy, someone can’t be danc-
ing. “Oh, he’s always around guys, he’s never
around girls.” I just don’t want you to see what
woman I’m with, and I don’t want you in myEverything he’s ever done for me, he’s shown
nothing but love. Even when we were having
our talks, it was coming from a place of love.
I could always feel it. So I’ll forever have respect
for him. But then to be called like that and then
be texted by your coach and be like, “Oh, yeah,
I heard the news.” Yeah, you heard the news? It
happened because of you. The reason I’m gone
is because of you. It was just tough because of
the way I initially felt. On the other side of it,
I was excited about a new start because I had
been—honestly, I had been praying to God the
season before this season for a change.You felt like you just couldn’t play there
anymore.
I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t do it.
I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t in a good place. And
like I told you earlier, I feel like everything is
about happiness, and I just was not. And even
thinking about my car: I had ordered that car
in December.So it was coincidental, or, rather, divine
that it was orange.
In December, I was like, “Man, I want the one
with the orange inside.” And then I get traded
to Cleveland, and it’s just so funny because
it was like I had been feeling a shift in my
life. I don’t read too much into the signs and
all that stuff, but somebody sent me a lot of
stuff during that time about what I was going
through and how I was feeling a shift, and I
was just so ready for Him to take me, and then
it happened. So I never question what He does.
I never question what He does. I never, never
questioned it at all. I couldn’t sit there and be
like, “Oh, yes, I’m happy I’m going to Cleveland.
Let me go pick out my house, all my clothes,
everything, and I’m just gonna go.” You have to
think about it—you’re leaving behind an entire
life that you created. Moving to another place.Have you spent a lot of time in
Cleveland?
Not yet. The only time I’ve spent time there
was when I was playing and when I was there
for LeBron—stuff like that. But I think the rea-
son it triggered so much emotion out of me is
because it reminded me of how my life worked.
Like, I would spend time at a certain place,
I would get to know everybody, and then me
and my mom would move. I’d spend time some-
where else, and then me and my mom were out.
And that was very hard for me, because it’s hard
to build relationships with people, and care for
people, and love people, and then you have to
pick up and then you’re gone.You probably had as much say in where
you moved then as you did when you got
traded to Cleveland.
I had no say-so at any point. When I was
younger. Now. You know? And I felt like I had
moved past my past. I really felt like: Why did
we even sign this contract? What did we sign
this for? That’s what I felt during the season.
Why did we do this deal to not feel long-term,
because I don’t feel like y’all are still wanting
me to be here long-term during the season.
I could feel it during the season. I would be
up and down the sidelines saying that, like,
“Why did you sign me?” I could’ve just not
did this at all.