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clientsfromhell.net
I worked for a design agency about ten
years ago. My predecessor built two
complete websites for a client – neither of
which had gone into use or were ever paid for- but the client was a big shot in the industry
and got away with it.
I changed jobs to another agency, which got
a call to build a website for this same client. I
told my boss about the two websites that
never saw the light of day at my previous
employer and warned her to get paid upfront.
I went to the client’s offices to discuss the
brief – it would be a rather large undertaking.
Client: Don’t worry about the content. I’ve
actually already collated all the content into a
mock website to give you an indication of
what you’re looking for.
At this point, he showed me a demo model
of one of the sites that were built at my
previous boss’s agency!
Me: (feigning ignorance) Wow. Did you put
that together yourself?
Client: (beaming with pride) Yes.
The client tells me he is assigning a liaison
to work with me and this liaison will be
providing the rest of the content to complete
the site. The liaison turns out to be an ancient
mechanical engineer with almost zero
computer skills. He did not understand that he
could minimise windows on his laptop and
when he typed a URL into the browser, he
didn’t understand that he could just hit Enter
on the auto-completion, but laboriously typed
out the entire URL with one finger. So our
meetings to discuss the site were soul-
crushingly frustrating. He insisted on printing
out every page of the website to indicate
where changes were to be made. After every
meeting, I left with a stack of paper 50 pages
or more deep, printed in colour, where he had
indicated sometimes nothing, sometimes a
full stop to be added to a sentence.
The most painful moment for me was when
he was for the millionth time, micro-managing
the placement of something on the site,
because he wanted something to appear onYEARS IN THE MAKING
CLIENTS FROM HELLExclusively for net: The latest in a series of
anonymous accounts of nightmare clientshis laptop screen just so. Getting a bit
exasperated with this man, I told him that yes,
I can place that element so that it would
display exactly there on his laptop, but he
must remember that people are going to be
looking at the website on all kinds of devices –
from desktops to laptops to tablets to phones- and we have to build the site to
accommodate whatever device the site is
being viewed on. The man’s brain visibly
ground to a halt... his jaw literally fell open...
he stared at me in complete silence and
astonishment for maybe 20 seconds and then
said: “Do you mean to tell me that people are
viewing websites on their phones???”.
This was my website liaison. A man that
didn’t know websites were being viewed on
any device other than a laptop.
However, the site got completed and went
live. One page on the site was built to
advertise special offers that would change
every month. A year later, the client contacts
me – they want to change the special offer.
The special offer on the page was still the
mockup offer I had made up to fill the space
and serve as a template. I suggest some times
to meet – the liaison tells me he is going on
holiday in three weeks and can’t possibly
squeeze in an hour-long meeting before then.
Radio silence for another year. Liaison man
contacts me, telling me they want to change
the special offer. I say okay, please suggest a
time to meet.
Radio silence for another year. Liaison man
contacts me and says they have a designer
who will take over the website updates. I say
great! Please just make sure this person is
proficient with WordPress and HTML and I will
hand over everything to them.
Radio silence for a year. Last month I get an
email – it is liaison man asking for the
WordPress logins. His email signature
advertises their “new website is now live!”.
Curious, I go to look at it – it’s the same
website I had built about three years ago.
I also check the Special Offers page... and it
is still the mockup advertising a fake special
offer I made three years ago!