June• 2019 | 45The Great Tweet-off:
Internet Edition
The people of Twitter look back
to #BeforeTheInternetExisted...
...we had no way of knowing if a
president didn’t understand how
apostrophes work.
@JOHNFUSELGAND...when someone ‘followed’ you,
you ran! @XHAZZX...if you wanted to know what
other films a celebrity was in
you had to ask your know-it-all
older brother. @SCIENCEGIGGLES...your adventures didn’t need
power cords. You just needed
somewhere outdoors and your
own imagination. @GUYRICKETTS...people would sit alone on
trains and in restaurants without
gadgets in their hands like...
complete... psychopaths!
@HAMZAKHANTWEETSz “Butterfly, you made a mistake
walking in front of me.”
z “But I wanna be Mary Poppins.”
z “I saw you with the apple.”
z “Do you know where the
TV remote is? No? I’ll just
ask the duck.” boredpanda.comON TALKING TERMS
At our weekly Bible study, the
leader asked an elderly gentleman,
Walt, to open the meeting with
prayer. Walt did so in a soft voice.
Another man, straining to hear,
shouted, “I can’t hear you!”
Walt replied, “I wasn’t talking
to you.” RICHARD STEUSSY NOVATOGUILTY PLEASURES
I’m trying to shield my mobile
phone from onlookers because I’m
embarrassed by what they might
see, but it’s just slow-motion video
of forks going into slices of cake.
@Originaldankst“Here’s the wine
you mispronounced.”ILLUSTRATIONS: GETTY IMAGES