HOW TO OVERCOME LIFE’S SETBACKS
82 | June• 2019
T
wo women I know,
both in their late 40s,
were diagnosed with
cancer in the past
year, and they’ve had
dramatically different
reactions to their situations.
Andrea,* a petite stay-at-home
mother and artist, is married with
two school-age children. She was
diagnosed with early-stage ovarian
cancer, then thyroid cancer, then had
a breast cancer scare that turned out
to be nothing, all within a year. This
normally bubbly, outgoing woman
has become very insular, withdraw-
ing from her friends to deal with her
treatments alone. When I see her, she
seems worn, and she always steers the
conversation towards her health and
the setbacks that she’s been facing.
Marie* is divorced and has two
teenagers. She was diagnosed with
an invasive form of breast cancer and
has been receiving intense treatment,
which forced her to work less at her
acupuncture and wellness practice.
She radiates positivity whenever I see
her. She’s surrounded herself with
friends, who sometimes accompany
her to medical appointments, and she
recently attended a retreat to improve
her attitude towards her diagnosis.
Although you may hope for noth-
ing but happy circumstances in your
life, everyone experiences hardship
or loss from time to time.
Fortunately, adversity can make
you stronger. The key is resilience
- the ability to bounce back after
big setbacks, and live with joy and
purpose.
“There is a difference between
coping and being resilient,” says re-
silience researcher Patrick Dolan,
professor of sociolog y at the Na-
tional University of Ireland. “Cop-
ing is what we do in everyday life.
Resilience is going one step fur-
ther.” Specifically, resilient people
do better than expected in the face
of serious challenges, says Dolan,
including c ancer.
The scientific study of resilience
dates back to the 1940s, when
researchers began examining why
soldiers in World War II reacted to
combat situations differently.
“That really is what led to research-
ers looking at the whole idea: why is
it that some people are resilient in
certain stressful situations and other
people aren’t?” says Dolan.
Researchers found that men who
had experienced stressful events dur-
ing adolescence, which helped them
develop coping skills, were more
likely to be resilient adults. Those
who encountered very few or no dif-
ficulties at all were more vulnerable
to depression, anxiety and mental
health issues.
That seems to be the case with the
two women I know who are dealing
with cancer. Andrea had never expe-
*Names have been changed for privacy. rienced any tragedies or disappoint-
