July• 2019 | 45The Great Tweet-off:
Golf Edition
The golfers of Twitter and
the internet take to the fairway
to say Tee-Hee.ANY TOM, DICK OR HARRY
Although I’d been dating a woman
for several months, I guess I didn’t
know her as well as I thought.
One day I called, and her ten-year-
old son answered.
“Hi,” I said. “It’s Tom. Can I speak
with your mum?”
He responded, “Are you Tom One
or Tom Two?”
Needless to say, his mother is now
down to one Tom.
THOMAS FALLDORF
THE LONG WAIT
Two colleagues were talking about
having to wait a long time to see
their doctors.
One of them said, “My doctor’s
practice encourages me to bring a
book to read while I wait.”
“That’s nothing,” the other replied.
“My doctor’s practice encourages me
to write a book while I wait.”
ROBERT HALSTEAD
The safest place to stand
when I hit a golf ball is directly
in front of me. @INKEDUPKIDDERGolf is the perfect thing to do
on a Sunday because you spend
more time praying on the course
than if you went to church.
BROCKOLI117 ON REDDIT.COMGolf is a game in which you
yell ‘Fore’, shoot six, and write
down five. HAROLD COFFIN, WRITERAs far as I can tell, the
requirements to be a professional
golfer are the same as to be a
drag queen: crazy outfit,
crazy name. @GABYDUNNGolf is literally a sport to see who
can play the least golf.
21COSNER ON REDDIT.COM