proud of them for; however, it was quite
a challenging year for them. The
pressure of her decision to come out
and how that might be received broke
mum for a little while unfortunately.”Prioritising self-care
Where most teenagers are impossible to
get to the dinner table each night, Shelley
soon became the one cooking meals and
carrying as much responsibility as a
14-year-old could.
“I thought, right, I’m going to be
peacemaker, stay positive like she has
taught me, and do whatever I can to try
and step up.
“While that was hard, I also think now
that I’m looking back on it, it was
something special. You go through
certain rocky periods when someone in
your family has mental health issues,
and I’m grateful that I actually had to
learn about it. Those experiences back
then really formed a basis for what’s
important to me and I still look back on
that now,” she says. “Every family has
their thing. Actually, every person has
their thing. It might not be mental
health, it may be something else, but
we’ve got to try to be compassionate.”Motherhood for Shelley came with its
own set of trials, with fertility treatment
for her first born, Flynn, and a bout of
crippling anxiety after her second baby,
Jett, was born. Amid juggling a toddler
and a newborn, her own wellbeing was
put on the backburner.
“When you have kids, you sort of go
into survival mode. You’re just hustling
through, caring for those gorgeous kids,
trying to do the best that you can, and a
lot of personal things go on hold. Now
the kids are six and seven, there’s
suddenly more breathing space to
think, ‘What about me? What
do I need?’”
Unable to shake a
terrible case of tinnitus
and a few other health
niggles, she recently
sought out a hormone
specialist, naturopath,
and had blood tests,
to discover she had
oestrogen dominance. It was
a sign to tune in, slow down and
take the time to really get to know her
own body.
As she’s married to an Olympic
athlete, I assume that when she says
“needed to slow down”, she means from
all the workouts she and Steve are doing
together, or some world-champ fitness
plan he has whipped up for her. She
laughs and tells me the reality is quite
different. In fact, the only thing they
tend to be working out together is what
to watch on Netflix. Shelley used to be a
keen runner, but those trainers have
been traded in for yoga and reformer
Pilates, something she says now servesher brain and body much better.
For her, positive energy and human
connection are the bedrock of a happy
life, and finding ways to nourish those
areas of life will be different for everyone.
“When I talk about the importance of
good energy, sometimes for me that
means a yoga class, but sometimes it’s
being with friends, drinking champagne
and dancing around the lounge to our
favourite music. You’ve got to have fun,
right?” she says with a smile, laughing
about how even though she’s got two
young boys, she still feels like a
teenager herself.Good vibes only
Developing a much closer relationship
with her mind and body has given the
39-year-old a whole new lease on life
and a fresh perspective.
“I love my age and stage of life,
because you do get a real sense of self.
I’ve learned to be really comfortable
with every way that I feel,” she
reflects. “I really love the
Dalai Lama’s approach –
if you rely on external
forces to determine
your mood, you’ll be in
a total flux. If you can
practise more positive
thought processes, just
by small habits each day,
it helps you to feel much
calmer. Yes, some days I might
be nervous or anxious about something
I’m doing, but I’m now much more at
peace with those feelings so they’re not
a big deal.
“You can actually train your brain a
bit to get into that positive mindset for
yourself. That’s what I try to do, but
obviously it’s not always how it goes,”
she laughs. “Especially at home with
the kids – any parent will know how
that can go!”
Alongside family, food, movement,
mindset and music, Shelley is a
big believer in the power that the
environment can have on how we feel. »‘There’s more space to think, “What do I need?”’
‘Those
experiences
back then
really formed a
basis for what’s
important
to me’