48 8.4.19
blinking rapidly at the ceiling. ‘‘I guess that was the last episode,’’ she
said. ‘‘It counts as the last episode if it made me cry.’’
‘‘WHICH ONE?’’ LAURA texted Fanny from the bakery one day after
school in March, six months after Fanny moved in, sending photos of cakes.
‘‘Wait, why are we getting cake?’’ Nando asked, as he and Fanny
examined the options. Fanny realized before he did: ‘‘Today is Mom
and Dad’s anniversary!’’
‘‘Is it bad I didn’t know that?’’ Nando asked, giggling.
Fifteen minutes later, Nando’s father walked through the door carry-
ing fl owers, cake and a balloon that read ‘‘Happy Anniversary,’’ surpris-
ing Mom 2 in the kitchen. They kissed. Their children cheered. Fanny
was recording the whole scene on her phone to post on Snapchat, her
face rapt and smiling, while the chocolate cake was enthroned on the
kitchen table. She reached for it as Leila hopped on the balls of her
feet behind her, and Mom 2 mock-batted their hands away, shouting,
‘‘It’s my cake!’’
Fanny, doubling over with giggles, had to drag Leila off the table.
Mom 2 cut a slice for each of them. How long had she been married? she
wondered aloud. She couldn’t remember.
‘‘I know how many years, and you don’t?’’ Fanny said. ‘‘It’s 24!’’
Soon Laura arrived, carrying a feast of Bojangles’ fried chicken, bis-
cuits and sweet tea; after her came an aunt, an uncle and some cousins,
here for dinner. ‘‘Ay, felicidades!’’ they exclaimed. As Fanny watched,
Mom 2 gave the aunt’s pregnant belly an aff ectionate rub. Fanny ran
over to rub it, too.
BY LATE MARCH, Rosario felt safe enough to rent a room. Fanny
announced to Mom 2 and Laura that her mom had just come back from
Mexico. Alejandro had alerted them fi rst, so they weren’t surprised.
Instead, they just said: We’ll always be here for you if you need us. We’re
just a phone call away. Fanny had resigned herself to leaving, but she
would miss them. After goodbyes, she headed out with her clothes, her
school supplies and her color guard fl ag.
On her fi rst day out of the house with her daughter, Rosario got up early to
watch Fanny’s color-guard competition. She passed the booths selling
bedazzled hair ribbons that said ‘‘FIERCE’’ and T-shirts that read ‘‘TRAIN
LIKE A BEAST, LOOK LIKE A BEAUTY’’ and scanned the high school gym
for a good seat. She had already missed so many of her daughter’s
competitions. She wasn’t going to miss this.
A herd of adolescent girls dressed as unicorns tossed rainbow fl ags
in the air while Rosario, out of practice with English, tried to decipher
what the announcer was saying in his Southern accent. As soon as Fanny
took the fl oor in a sequined peri winkle blue leotard, Rosario started
fi lming with her phone. Fanny’s eyebrows were impeccably shaded and
shaped. Gray eye shadow shimmered on her lids, which were fringed
with fake eyelashes. Winged black eyeliner traced her eyes, and bronzer
contoured her cheeks. When did she learn to do that? Rosario wondered.
She fi lmed the whole performance, and then the awards ceremony, in
which Fanny’s team won fi rst place. When it was over, parents clattered
down the bleachers to reach their children. Fanny
was talking to teammates and adults Rosario didn’t
know. Rosario nodded at them, saying nothing. Then
she got busy around her daughter, tugging off Fanny’s
hoodie for the team photo, taking pictures of Fanny
with the team trophy, tucking a few stray hairs behind
Fanny’s ears. She noticed Fanny’s jacket hood was
inside out and fi xed it as they walked out of the gym.
She rubbed Fanny’s back and smiled. As they headed
to the parking lot, Fanny turned almost imperceptibly
toward her mother, her arm extending just an inch,
and Rosario slid her arm through her daughter’s as
they pushed the doors open under a roof of gray sky.
FANNY AND ROSARIO had to share their new apartment with room-
mates — a married couple; the woman’s 20-something, TV-hogging son;
and a small yapping dog that tended to leave a trail of urine across the
off -white living room carpet — so they kept to themselves and went out
for almost all their meals. They couldn’t drive, and Uber funds had to
be conserved. So mostly they walked, and mostly to the Waff le House
a few worn-out strip malls away.
It was almost noon one Saturday in April when Fanny made her way
down the weedy sidewalk for breakfast, double- or triple-jabbing the
WALK buttons as she went, bolting across the fi ve-lane main road where
there was no crosswalk. Rosario was supposed to meet her there after a
doctor’s appointment, but 15 minutes passed, then 30, then 45, and still
no Rosario. Fanny ordered some food and waited.
She had gotten used to waiting. She used to spend hours home alone
during Rosario’s work shifts. When she moved back in with her mother,
she wondered whether that would change. Fanny hated to be alone. ‘‘She
hasn’t changed at all,’’ Fanny said now. Rosario was working as much
or more than ever, determined to pay back the thousands she owed as
quickly as possible. Her cleaning shifts ran late and through most week-
ends, and Fanny went to school early. Rosario had started taking Fanny
with her to work sometimes; if she didn’t, they might go two days at a
time sharing the same bed but barely seeing each other.
Today they were supposed to go to the nail salon after breakfast,
before Rosario had to go to work again. Fanny sat staring out the Waff le
House’s big window at the 50-mile-an-hour traffi c whooshing by. She
hadn’t seen Nando or Laura or Ana or Leila in weeks. At their house,
someone was always around. Fanny could see friends more or less when-
ever she wanted. Now Rosario wouldn’t let her go out more than once
a week, and not at all if boys were in the group.
Fanny’s phone buzzed. Change of plans: Rosario didn’t have much time,
and for them, manicures trumped breakfast. Fanny paid the bill and walked
over to the next strip mall to meet her mother at the salon. Less than 15
minutes elapsed before they began bickering about a recent episode in
which Fanny had worn track pants to school, a dress-code violation that
would earn her an in-school suspension unless she changed into acceptable
pants. She had called Rosario, pleading for a new pair from home.
‘‘If you knew you weren’t supposed to wear those pants, why did you
wear them?’’ Rosario said in the nail salon, trying to keep her voice down.
‘‘I’ve worn them multiple times before and not gotten into trouble,
that’s what you’re not understanding,’’ said Fanny, her voice dropping
into surliness. ‘‘This is why I don’t argue with you anymore.’’ She pulled
out her phone and started fl icking through Instagram, looking for a
photo of the polish color she wanted. Rosario tapped at her own phone.
She was amazed when Fanny talked back. She never used to. Time to
go, she said after a few minutes, and left.
Alejandro called while Fanny’s nails were drying. ‘‘I’m triggered,’’ she
told him, ‘‘because Mom went to the doctor, and it was $130 plus medicine.
She should’ve told me so we could save up for it, $50 and then $50. Now
it’s one big payment, and we won’t have as much for other stuff we need.’’
Rosario tried to be patient when Fanny started telling her how much of
her paycheck to save, how much to spend and what
to spend it on, but sometimes she lost it and threat-
ened to take away Fanny’s phone for a few weeks, or
to cancel her quinceañera. Rosario dreaded Fanny’s
obvious desire for fi nancial control. If Fanny want-
ed things Rosario couldn’t aff ord, she would want
to work, even though she was barred by law from
employment until she turned 14. If she got a job, she
might want to take on more hours. If she worked
more, she might want to drop out of school.
‘‘Live your childhood now, because the
minute you’re an adult, you’ll miss it,’’ Rosario some-
times told Fanny.AT FIRST, SHE DIDN’T
TELL MOST PEOPLE WHAT
HAD HAPPENED TO HER
MOTHER — NOT HER
TEACHERS, NOT EVEN
MOST OF HER FRIENDS —
AND SOME PEOPLE SHE
NEVER TOLD.