The Washington Post - 01.08.2019

(Axel Boer) #1

C4 EZ RE THE WASHINGTON POST.THURSDAY, AUGUST 1 , 2019


person says, “I am sorry if
anyone was offended.” But in
everyday life, I think there is
value in apologizing for hurting
someone’s feelings, even if the
action that caused hurt feelings
is not apology worthy. Am I
missing something here?
— Genuinely Sorry

Genuinely Sorry: This wasn’t
about feelings, though; this was
an “I had no idea you didn’t tell
your own brother you were
getting a divorce” issue. The
brother-in-law wanted to
control a narrative that wasn’t
fully his to control.
To answer your question,
though, yes, hurting someone’s
feelings — even with no ill
intent — always gets a genuine
note of remorse.

Write to Carolyn Hax at
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some point the brother-in-law’s
brother inevitably was going to
find out, one way or another.
Keeping it a secret was the
brother-in-law’s issue.
— Anonymous

Anonymous: Exactly and totally.
But the sib just wants to
avoid blowing this up and
complicating things for the
sister. Thus my non-apology
apology, which puts the issue
away without any admission of
guilt.

Re: “Non-apology apology”:
Since when did apologizing for
hurting someone’s feelings
become a “non-apology”? I can
be genuinely sorry that I hurt
someone’s feelings, but not
sorry about the actual thing I
said.
I understand this type of non-
apology is an issue in the public
sphere when a person says a
racist /sexist thing (or worse, is
caught harassing someone), and
instead of saying, “I said a racist
thing and I am sorry,” the

Whoops: “I’m sorry, I had no
idea I was putting you in an
awkward spot.”
But, seriously dude?

Re: But, seriously dude?: My
parents separated in January
and started divorce proceedings
immediately. My father told
nobody in his family. His
mother continued to call “their”
house, and my mother would
just say he was at work. Finally,
she called on Mother’s Day, and
my exasperated mother just laid
it out. “He moved out in
January, [MIL]. We’re getting
divorced.” Seriously, people —
own your own s(p)it!
— Exasperated Too

Exasperated Too: Yes, thank
you. Secrecy and privacy are not
the same thing.

Re: “Whoops”: The brother-in-
law wants an apology? For
what? His soon-to-be-ex-wife
told her sibling she was getting
a divorce. It was already “out
there” as public information. At

Adapted from a
recent online dis-
cussion.

Hey, Carolyn: My
sister is going
through an
amicable divorce.
She moved out,
but it’s not final
yet.
I ran into my brother-in-law’s
brother. We usually celebrated
holidays with her soon-to-be ex
and his family, so I blurted out
that I hope he has a good
holiday and I’ll miss seeing him.
It was obvious he knew nothing
about the divorce. I left the
conversation, and he called his
brother, who called my sister.
My brother-in-law is mad at
me for telling this news. He
wants an apology, and I think I
should give it to keep things
amicable during their split. How
do you say you are sorry for
something that you don’t really
think is your fault, but you
regret doing anyway?
— Whoops


Television


BROADCAST CHANNELS
8/1/19
7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
4.1 WRC (NBC) ◆ News ◆ Access ◆ NFL Preseason Football: Denver Broncos at Atlanta Falcons (Live) News ◆ J. Fallon
4.2 WRC (IND) Little House on the Prairie Frasier Frasier Frasier Frasier Will & Grace Will & Grace The Office The Office
5.1 WTTG (Fox) Fox 5 ◆ TMZ ◆ MasterChef ◆ Spin the Wheel Fox 5 News at Ten News The Final 5
7.1 WJLA (ABC) ◆ Wheel ◆ Jeopardy! ◆ Holey Moley ◆ Family Food Fight ◆ Reef Break News ◆ Kimmel
9.1 WUSA (CBS) Off Script ◆ ET ◆ Love Island ◆ Big Brother (Live) ◆ Elementary 9 News ◆ Colbert
14.1 WFDC (UNI)Amor eterno La reina soy yo La Rosa de Guadalupe Sin miedo a la verdad Noticias ◆ Noticiero
20.1 WDCA (MNTV)◆ Family Feud◆ Family FeudFox 5 News ◆ Family FeudFox 5 News ◆ Family Feud Big Bang Big Bang ◆ The Good Wife
22.1 WMPT (PBS)Money To Dine For Doc Martin Call the Midwife Jamestown Film School Farm-Harvest
26.4 WETA (PBS)PBS NewsHour (7:59) Downton Abbey on Masterpiece Downton Downton Abbey Amanpour-Co
32.1 WHUT (PBS)DW News Rick Steves POV Sold for Sex Democracy Now! World News Closer, Truth
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A&E Live PD Live PD Live PD Live PD Live Rescue (Live) 60 Days In: Narcoland
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CNN Erin Burnett OutFront Anderson Cooper 360 Cuomo Prime Time CNN Tonight CNN Tonight
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Food Network Chopped Chopped BBQ Brawl Beat Flay Beat Bobby Beat Bobby Beat Bobby
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TCM (6:00) The Wrong Man (1956) Movie: The Lady Eve ★★★★ (1941) Movie: 12 Angry Men ★★★★ (1957)
TLC 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever Dr. Pimple Popper Dr. Pimple Popper Untold Stories of ER My Crazy Birth Story
TNT (5:30) Remember the Titans Movie: Million Dollar Arm ★★ (2014) Movie: Remember the Titans ★★★ (2000)
Travel The Dead Files The Dead Files The Dead Files The Dead Files
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Jersey Shore Family Vacation
(MTV at 8) While planning for a
wedding, the guys show off their
dance moves.


MasterChef (Fox at 8) Guest judge
Candace Nelson gives competitors
a macaron challenge.


Queen of the South (USA at 10)
Teresa must weigh her ties to New
Orleans.


RETURNING


Million Dollar Listing New York
(Bravo at 9) Agents battle for the
best listings. Season 8.


Flip or Flop (HGTV at 9) Friendly
exes Tarek and Christina are back to
renovating Southern Califorinia
homes. Season 8.


Fear Thy Neighbor (ID at 10) The
true-crime series profiles neighborly
disputes that turn violent. Season 6.


PREMIERE


BBQ Brawl: Flay V. Symon
(Food at 9) Friends and Food
Network regulars Bobby Flay and
Michael Symon each mentor a team
of pit masters who face off in
barbecue challenges.


SPECIAL
Monster Mako: Perfect Predator
(Discovery at 9) Keith Poe, Joe
Romeiro and Devon Massyn chase
mako sharks to see how they hunt.

MINISERIES
No One Saw a Thing
(Sundance at 11) A murder in broad
daylight creates a reckoning.

LATE NIGHT
Daily Show/Noah (Comedy Central
at 11) Diane Guerrero.
Tonight Show/Fallon (NBC at
11:34) Hasan Minhaj, Vanessa
Kirby, Sam Fender.
Late Show/Colbert (CBS at 11:35)
Meek Mill.
Jimmy Kimmel Live (ABC at 11:35)
Milo Ventimiglia, Alison Brie, the
Head and the Heart.
Late Late Show/Corden (CBS at
12:37) Jamie Bell, Margaret Qualley,
Freya Ridings.
Late Night/Meyers (NBC at 12:37)
Tony Shalhoub, Gov. Larry Hogan (R-
Md.), Rhianne Barreto, Jeff Quay.
— Nina Zafar

More at washingtonpost.com/
entertainment/tv.

TV HIGHLIGHTS


HGTV
Going for Sold (HGTV at 11) Real estate and design couple Mary Tjon-Joe-Pin
and Jon Pierre work together for their home-renovation business in Houston.


An accidental messenger is caught in the middle


Carolyn
Hax


NICK GALIFIANAKIS FOR THE
WASHINGTON POST

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