Woman UK – 22 July 2019

Real Life

WORDS:

BESS

BROWNING.

WEDDING

PHOTO:

CHRIS

NORTON

PHOTOGRAPHY.

I eventually managedtocalm
him down, but tryingtofindthe
right help for Jerrywastough.I’d
never felt so alone.Themental-
health team at thehospital
eventually agreedtohelp– andsince
then, he’s been takinganti-psychosis
medication, whichseemstobeworking.
Jerry now hascarerswhocometothe
house every day.Althoughhestrugglesto
express himself,I knowthemanI fellin
love with is still there.
I can’t help butgetupsetwhenI see
Jerry gripped byandfrustratedbythis
awful disease. Hedidn’tdeservethis.
It isn’t the lifeI thoughtwe’dhave
together, but that’sthekeywordhere:
‘together’. Becausenomatterwhat,I’llbe
with Jerry throughoutthis.

‘SHE TURNED TO ME AND

ASKED ME NOT TO LEAVE’

Steve Quinn, 45, is a lorry driver who lives

in Treorchy, Wales. His wife Amanda, 50,

has rapidly progressive dementia.

Ifyou’re worried

aboutalovedone,call

theNationalDementia

Helplineon (^0300222)
Alzheimer’s^11 22.
Societyisworking
tirelesslytochallenge
fund perceptions,
researchandprovide
support. careand
Tofindoutmoreabout
Alzheimer’sSocietyand
canmake howyou
adifferencetothelives
ofpeoplewith dementia,
alzheimers.org.uk. visit
When you meet the woman who you want
to spend the rest of your life with, it is then
impossible to picture yourself without
them. And that’s exactly how I felt when
I started dating Amanda back in 2014.
I’d been married and divorced twice,
but there was something just so incredibly
enchanting about Amanda that made me
scrap my plan to never marry again.
We tied the knot on 28 May 2016, and
when I vowed to be committed to her
through sickness and health,I meantit.
A year or so later,
I noticed Amanda was
becoming forgetful.
Once she forgot she’d
put a joint of meat in
the oven and returned
after a shopping trip to
a burnt pork loin and a
smoky kitchen. We both just laughed it off.
But visiting the GP for an earache in May
2018, Amanda forgot why she was there
andwasreferredfor a memory test.
Thediagnosis was rapidly
progressive Alzheimer’s
dementia. It was all such a
shock.Amanda was only
49.She turned to me and
said, ‘Don’t leave me.’
Itdevastatedmethat
she’deventhinkthat.
HerchildrenJohn,
hen28,Christopher,
7,George,23,and
ethany,22,rallied
ound,andBethany
becamehermum’s
carerwhileI worked.
Sadly,Amanda
eterioratedquickly.
Thedayswhensheused
o bakecookiesforthe
amilyarelonggone– she
ascompletelyforgottenhow
to.Anditscaresmethat,
oneday,she’llforgetme,too.
I lookafterherasmuchas
I can,butsometimesweliein
bedandcry,terrifiedofwhat
thenextdaymightbring.
It’ssimplyunbearableto
thinkaheadtothefuture
withoutAmanda.
AMANDA,50,SAYS:
WhenIfirststartedforgettingthings,
Ijustputitdowntothemenopause.
Myfirstthoughtsaftermydiagnosis
wereformychildrenandSteve.
Myindependencehasbeenstolen
andmyroleasamotherisslidingaway.
Frompayingthebillstothecleaning,
simpletaskshavebecomemonumental.
AllIcandoisholdouthopethatthere
willbeacureinmylifetime.
‘ON E DAY,
SHE’LL
FORGET ME’
Amandaand
Steveontheir
weddingday
Louisa will always
be there for Jerry