The Grocer – 20 July 2019

bogof

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Burger King in Sweden is

trialling the Impossible

Burger, backing it with a

giveaway that challenges

customers to spot the dif-

ference with ‘real’ meat.

It’s doing better than

BK UK on the enlight-

ened front, then. It turns

out the halloumi burger,

launched last week to the

delight of vegetarians,

er, isn’t vegetarian – it’s

cooked in the same fryers

as chicken and  sh.

Veg Swedes in

burger heaven

ad of the week: Morrisons pushes price message with cheap and cheerful duo

‘Our Brand. Lower

Prices’ is the slogan for

a pair of new Morrisons

ads. Not staggeringly

original or interesting,

but shoppers never

dislike a price message.

And it feels like ‘not

staggeringly original or

interesting’ may have

been the brief for the

ads. A mum and a dad

respectively recite a

shopping list , before we

hear about Morrisons’

daily deliveries of ‘over

15 million items to our

stores’ – that’s the

availability box ticked!

Generic George Ezra

soundtracks the shop,

before we’re back home.

It pays o well for ad

dad, whose wife leans

in for a smooch, while in

the other one ‘mum’ has

to be content washing

the dog with her family.

It’s forgettable – but

it’s obviously super-

cheap. Thri y shoppers

should feel reassured.

Bread ahead:

Japan enjoys a

slice of life

Bogof is always keen to

bring you the latest food

trends from around the

world – particularly if the

food is unusual or (pref-

erably and) gross.

So it’s exciting to learn

(via The Guardian) of the

craze currently rocking

Japan – the land where

it’s possible, a er all, to

get snake venom sake

and girls’ hair- avoured

chicken.

It’s toast. Yep, so

white slices are in. And

Japan’s famous tech and

artistic knowhow is being

applied in full e ect.

So if you want, you can

spend ¥30,000 (about

£220) on a metal box

‘toaster’, which uses hot

plates to heat just one

slice at a time.

Or you can head to

cafés that allow you to

toast at your table, or

where food artists metic-

ulously decorate slices

with ingredients includ-

ing sushi, mango paste

and black sesame.

The Japanese Toast

Association (a real thing)

doubtless has more infor-

mation if you need it.

Land of the rising loaf: two Japanese chaps enjoy a slice

What’s the di er-

ence between porridge

and oatmeal? The lat-

ter is just a confusing

Americanism, right?

Apparently not.

German supermarket

Edeka is taking heat

from consumer group

Foodwatch for charg-

ing three times more for

‘porridge’ than it does for

‘Hafer ocken’ (oatmeal).

‘The  akes are the same,’

insists Foodwatch.

Edeka claims por-

ridge is more ‘swella-

ble’ and can be eaten

a er  ve minutes, while

Hafer ocken requires

more simmering. Now we

know the di erence!

Swellable: some porridge

(or possibly oatmeal)

German mult

knows its oats

W

hen your delicious Donna was starting

out as a public servant there was always

a ‘silly season’ a t this time of year, when

politicians and media embraced their inner idiot

and you couldn’t quite believe anything you read.

Well, it won’t have escaped you that the ‘season’

is now downright stupid, and is now a year-round

phenomenon. All the leading intelligentsia of

the food supply chain are now warning of Brexit

shortages of everything from fresh produce to

clean underpants.

And yet (perhaps because the above

commodities are of little interest to them) our two

Tory hopefuls are careering towards a no-clue

Bwrecksit as if it were a public school jape. Well,

my Frexit department exists to protect Hard-

Working Families from this national debagging,

and so it is with all due modesty that I claim credit

for the latest brilliant M&S initiative.

Hard-Pressed Families (see above) have only to

switch all of their food spend away from the grey

desperation of Aldi and Lidl to the sunlit aisles of

M&S and they will be amply rewarded with tiny

plastic and cardboard facsimiles of pizzas, Percy

Pig sweeties and Peruvian co ee beans.

Yes, it’s true. Those Christmas present woes

are now o cially over. Imagine the look of joy on

Johnny/Jenny’s face when they open a tiny plastic

model of some Cornish Cove Mature Cheddar.

Moaning Minnies will point out that by simply

staying with the discounters, your average

HWF/HPF could save enough for Mummy’s new

Beemer, but pish tush! This is genius of a truly

Brexit kind, and a few hundred extra tonnes of

super uous plastic is surely a price worth paying.

DONNA

PSEY

FOOD RETAIL EXPORT IMPORT & TRADE MINISTER