Chat – 25 July 2019

Health

Extra

Healt

h

OF

ME

Elijahusesfacial

expressionsto

showhowhefeels

Inhospital,my

bravelittlebunny

C

losingthefront

door,I looked

aroundmynewflat.

Home,

I thought,happily.

It was1985,and

aged17,I’djustmovedinto

myownplace.

Aftera childhoodspent

passedfromonecareor

fosterhometo another,I was

desperateto standonmyown

twofeet.

I quicklyrelished

myindependence.

Still,keento discover

myroots,I askedmysocial

workerif I couldreadmyfile.

I foundoutmymotherhad

cometo EnglandfromThe

Gambiain WestAfrica,and

hadmeat22.

Only,I’dbeenbornwith

Apertsyndrome,a genetic

conditioncausingfusion

of theskullbones,webbed

fingersandtoes.

It wasalsoknownas

WORDS:

MISHAAL

KHAN,

MATT

BARBOUR.

PHOTOS:

MATT

BARBOUR

I’ll give my ‘broken doll’

the love I never had...

KaddyThomas,51,Clevedon

20

‘broken-doll

syndrome’.

Doctors had

told my mother

I’d be severely

mentally

handicapped.

For a year,

she tried.

Yet she just

couldn’t cope.

She abandoned

me in hospital, where

I spent two years having

countless operations

on my fused bones before

moving to a children’s home.

It wasanunsettled

upbringing,but

notunhappy.

I wasn’t

bullied,despite

thefactmy

conditionmeant

I lookeddifferent.

I hadlots

of friends.

Now,finding

outaboutmy

mothergave

meclosure.From

then,I builtmyownlife.

I trainedasa chef,had

a fewrelationships– but

nothingserious.

Genetictestsconfirmed

I carriedtheApertgene,

meaningtherewas50/50

chanceI’dpassthecondition

onto anychildrenI had.

‘Kidsaren’tonthecards,’

I toldmydoctor.

I’dneverreallybeenthe

maternalsort.

Then,in2004,I starteda

relationship with a man

from work.

When I missed a period

in August 2005, I went to

the doctor.

‘Seems you’re expecting!’

she said.

‘I can’t believe it!’

I cried, stunned.

I’d never imagined having

children, or craved a family.

Yet, I felt excitement

flutter inside.

I want this baby!

Sadly, the father didn’t feel

the same, but I wasn’t afraid to

go it alone.

At 20 weeks, I went for

a scan.

‘What am

I having?’

I asked eagerly

‘A boy!’ the

sonographer said.

Elated, I tried to

imagine his face.

But then, at 25

weeks, I went for

a private 4D scan

• and, instantly, the
  doctor knew.
  ‘HehasApert syndrome, too,’
  hesaid.
  I wenthome knowing one
  thing.Mybaby may well be
  likeme,butI wasn’t going to
  belikemymum.
  I’dneverabandon my son –
  I’dlovehimregardless.
  Andif anyone is equipped to
  raisehim,I am, I thought.
  InMarch2006, Elijah was
  bornbyplanned Caesarean,
  weighing8lb 10oz.
  Cuddlinghim, I felt

complete. I finally had a family

of my own.

Elijah had a cleft palette,

an unusually shaped head, and

his fingers were fused together.

But he was perfect to me.

Taking him home after two

weeks was nerve-racking.

He’d need operations – the

same ones I’d had – but for

now, I enjoyed precious time

with him.

That September, Elijah

had his first surgery

lf anyone

is equipped

to raise

little Elijah,

I am!