Chat – 25 July 2019

Yo u r

girlfriend

rangintears.

‘Ben’s not

breathing!’

Clever,caringand

compassionate:

myboyBen

I’msoproudyou

madea difference

to the world

Dear Ben,

F

romthemoment
youwereborn,you
wereoutgoing,feisty,
intelligent.Yourolder
brotherMichael,five
yearsolder,wasclever,
too,a Mathsgenius.
Butyourheartlaywith
EnglishandHumanities.
Andwiththatcameyour
senseof justice.
Peoplesaidmycleverboys
werea creditto me, and as
a singlemum,
I glowed.
Youwerealways
thereforme,too.
Especiallyafter
I wasdiagnosed
withcancerin
September2015.
Michaelwasat
university,and
thoughyouwere
doingyourGCSEs,
yousteppedup.
WhileI washaving
treatment,youtaughtyourself
to usethewashingmachine.
Vacuumedandtidied.And
whenI camehome,you’d
disinfectedthehouse,knowing
myimmunesystemwas
weakenedbychemo.
Youweremycrutch.
‘Keepfighting,Mum,’you
rallied.‘Neverstop.’
WORDS: JAMES HANMAN, DAWN COLLINSON Your care and compassion

LIVING LEGACY

62

A letter

to...

My incredible

son

simplyamazedme.

Atcollege,youbecamea

spokespersonfortheLGBT+

community.Allwhileexcelling

inyourA levels.

Insummer2017,youhad

somenews.

‘Don’tbedisappointed,but

I don’twantto goto uni.I’m

joiningthepolice,’yousaid.

‘WhyonearthwouldI be

disappointed?’I grinned.

Yousignedupto bea

specialconstable,passed

yourfirststageof training.

But as youpreparedforthe

physicaltestin

December2017,

youwerehitby

a stomachbug.

Whenyou

struggledto

breathe,I took

youto A&E.

A doctor

suggestedit was

a panicattack.

Probably

stressedabouthis

policeapplication, I thought.

Buton5 December,I was

outatmyfriend’splacewhen

yourgirlfriendcalledintears,

weeping,‘Ben’snotbreathing!’

I racedhome.Paramedics

wereperformingCPRonyou.

Atthehospital,tests

foundyourbloodsugarwas

dangerouslyhigh.Yourheart

andbrainwerefailing.

Doctors said diabetic

ketoacidosis,a life-threatening

complicationof type1 diabetes,

hadcausedyourcardiacarrest.

‘Buthedoesn’thave

diabetes,’I sobbed,baffled.

Turnedoutyoucarriedthe

type1 gene– whichcouldbe

triggeredinyoungpeopleby

anillness.It must’vebeen

activatedbythatbug...

Worse,doctorstoldmeyou’d

sufferedbraindeath.

You’donlyjustturned18.

AsI grieved,I recalledour

conversationsabouttheopt-out

organ-donationcampaign.

Youwerepassionatelyin

favourof it.I broughtit upwith

doctors,knowingyou’dwantto

helpothers,evenindeath.

Yourliver,kidneysand

corneaswentto othersinneed.

Andthroughthetransplant

team,I sentlettersto each

recipient.Tellingthem how

happyyou’dbe.

I wasamazed

whentheman

whogotyour

liverreplied.

Steve

Dunster,

54,is an

electronic

engineer,with

a wifeand

twodaughters.

He’dbeen

diagnosedwith

livercancer,

desperatelyneeded

a transplant.

You’dsavedhislife!

Hetoldmehewastaking

partintheLondonto Brighton

100kwalkfortheBritishLiver

TrustinMaythisyear.

SoMichaelandI wentdown

to meethimatthefinishline.

‘Thankyou...’Stevesaid.

‘...toBen.’

Wehugged,andit waslike

havingyouinmyarmsagain.

MichaelandI missyouso.

Don’tworryaboutus– your

AuntAndreaandcousins

NnennaandDanarelooking

afterus.

Butmydarlingboy,you’ll

neverbeforgotten.

I alwaysknewyou’dmake

a differenceto theworld,and

believeme,youtrulyhave.

All my love,

Mum x

lKarenGlean,

50, Cardiff

MeandSteve,

• he'sso
  grateful to you