APRIL 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 27fondness of her. And my godmother has
a modern outlook – it’s like talking to
someone my own age. She appreciates
what it is like to be a working woman- the scramble to meet professional
demands, the financial pressure and
the expectations we put on ourselves.
I feel stronger for this relationship, so
it comes as no surprise when therapist
Armele Philpotts tells me that, according
to studies, there is a correlation between
improved emotional and physical health
and how connected we are – the more
people we have to talk to and have fun
with – including intergenerational
relationships – the better we feel.
Emboldened, a few months ago, I took
the plunge again during another now
or never moment. There is a woman
living nearby who I have always liked,
but didn’t know well. We usually had a
quick chat when we saw each other but
one of us was invariably doing the school
run or charging o to work.
When I saw she had acquired a dog, I
wrote a card from my dog inviting themfor a walk. It was a little silly, but I knew
she would see the funny side. Our dogs
don’t actually get on well – but we do!It only takes one...
Having started on this path, I am aware
of people around me doing the same
thing: A friend of mine has re-established
contact with her estranged brother. They
hadn’t been in touch due to a falling out
a couple of years ago but, when her son
asked about his uncle, she thought about
how much of their relationship had been
positive and decided that should be her
focus. She sent her brother a short,
friendly message asking how he was.
They are taking it slowly, but her smile
when she talks about him shows how
much he means to her.
I know how she feels. If you want a
closer or new relationship with someone
you feel would be a positive influence in
your life, please go for it! Let’s ditch the
never and go for the now.“
When I saw
the woman I liked
had a dog, I invited
them for a walk.
Our dogs don’t
actually get on
well – but we do!
“
How to invite people into your life (you’ve got nothing to lose)
Relationship therapist Armele Philpotts on offering the hand of friendship with an accepting heart
l Check in with yourself
first and be aware of your
emotions. Emotions drive us
towards motion, or doing;
but are your emotions
pulling you towards or
away from someone?
l It’s easy to take a small
step to start building a
relationship with someone.
If you like a person at yoga,
why not chat to them after
the class and strengthen
your connection?l Do something or go
somewhere you will both
enjoy. Shared memorable
experiences are a perfect
place to initiate a
relationship or make an
existing one stronger.l If the person decides to
keep the status quo, try
not to feel rejected. You
don’t know their narrative.
They may have a lot going
and it’s not a good time for
them. apcounselling.wordpress.com