good sex
WORDS: SUZY WALKER. PHOTOGRAPH: GETTY IMAGES
APRIL 2020 PSYCHOLOGIES MAGAZINE 45Reconnect
with your body
In our new column, brought to us by Shalis Institute,
sex therapists and authors of Real Sex Louise Mazanti
and Mike Lousada help us see through the distorted
haze of body image and rediscover our sensualityour body image has a
significant impact on
your relationship with
your sexuality, but have you
considered that this image is just
that – a mental picture created by
an imagined ‘other’ who is critical
of your body?Love scene
Through this image, we can grow
disconnected from the ‘felt sense’
of our body – our internal bodily
awareness – and seek role models
to ‘teach’ us what to feel and how to
behave, mostly in the media, porn
and advertising. Our sexuality
becomes an act we play out, with
the Critical Other as the main
character. We don’t feel our bodies,
desires and pleasures, we perform.
But what if your sexuality is not
defined by your body image? What if
it’s defined by how you experience
yourself from the inside? Practise
by allowing yourself to slow down,
taking a moment to breathe into
your body. Notice how you feel
inside. Let your breath move all the
way to your pelvis. Gently move
your hips a little as you breathe.Through this subtle movement, see
if you can find the erotic energy
inside your body. It may be a slight
tingling sensation, pleasure or
warmth. Focus on the sensation.
If you can’t feel it straight away,
imagine it! Breathe into the feeling.
By deactivating the Critical
Other, you start to have a powerful
internal experience, and to embody
your sexuality. Getting to know its
subtle sensations will change the
way you experience yourself. You’ll
move from a disempowering body
image to a felt relationship with
your being, which will allow for
more pleasure and connection.Shalis Institute is an educational
platform that transforms outdated
perceptions of female sexuality and
introduces holistic sex education as
a fundamental principle of human
development. Its mission is to
normalise discussion about sexuality
and remove social taboos.
Through insightful events, Shalis
Institute hosts thought leaders from
multiple disciplines to make every
woman an expert on her own body, bring
equality in sexual entitlement and
spread values of conscious sexuality.Y
Sexual revolution^
‘Real Sex’ (Hay House, £12.99) is out now; psychosexualsomatics.com;
mazantilousada.com; louisemazanti.com; mikelousada.com; shalisinstitute.comNew
seriesHOW TO...